Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold(s) (1995) from Tuna and Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Two thumbs down: 

Tuna's comments in white 

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995) is a badly acted titty flick now available on DVD. 

Three women are vying for centerfold of the year with a spoof of the bunnymag, complete with a letch founder. J.J. North (as Angel Grace) tries to get a leg up on the competition by taking another beautification serum treatment. The treatment causes her to grow to 60 feet tall. The Hef character, of course, wants to exploit her. Her competition is played by Raelyn Saalman and Tammy Parks. Tammy gives a fair performance as a selfish bitch. Nikki Fritz is the best thespian in the cast as Hef's jealous girl friend. All 4 women show robo-hooters.

This was an incredible waste of an idea. What kind of man, for instance, would it take to satisfy a 60 foot woman? The perfect put-down of the Hef character would have been to have him try it. And I am sure they could have found no end of mischief for a woman that large. IMDB readers say 3.0/10, with may be way too high. Technically, the film is also bad. Much of the footage is supposedly photo shoots. You would think they could get little things like color saturation, contrast and focus right in idea sound stage conditions. Most of the film is slightly out of focus as well. D 


It's a tittie film. There is no pubic hair in sight, and only one brief flash of a butt, but four women show off robo hooters.  
Scoop's comments in yellow

Tuna nailed it exactly right. It's a good premise for s sex comedy, but they had a poor script, poor performing, and it was technically poor as well. I mean it's supposed to be titillating - jiminy, at least get the sucker in focus and get the lighting right! The girls are attractive, but their skin is often orange and their faces always seem to be fuzzy, all of which detracts from the sexiness. 

DVD info from Amazon.

  • no widescreen 

  • no features

 To get a handle on the quality, imagine, if you will, if the lads on F Troop had encountered a 60 Foot Woman or two. they would have had the same results as here:

1. The acting mostly consisted of mugging and doing pratfalls.

2. The jokes were at the Catskills level.

3. The sixty foot woman was constantly changing sizes. (When they battled in the city, the two big gals were the same height as three story buildings - maybe 35 feet. At other times, they were much larger.) 

4. The doctors who created the large woman also created a large rat in their lab. That rat was obviously played by a midget in a rat suit. A really cheap rat suit.

5. The large woman effects were all be done with cheap-ass chroma-key effects or lame computer overlays.

6. They filmmakers apparently didn't even know the name of their own movie. The title card says "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds" (plural),  even though the film has always been marketed and listed as "Centerfold" (singular). (There actually were two of them, if it makes any difference)

7. I think this even starred some of the same people as F Troop. if you ever wonder what happened to such 60's icons as Russ Tamblyn and Tommy Kirk, look no farther. They are both in this film.

The Critics Vote

  • Unsurprisingly, no major reviewers weighed in on this film.

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 3.1, and that is generous 
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics - or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a D.

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