666: The Child

(2007)

by Tuna

An airplane crashes. One survivor, a young boy, leaves the plane alive. A news reporter and her photographer husband adopt him. Bad move. Turns out he is the spawn of Satan, and kills his first adoptive parents before he leaves the hospital. The second victim is grandpa. With grandpa out of the way, Lucy Fir is hired as a nanny, and to provide the breast exposure. Things don't go well for anyone around the boy.

This is theoretically a spoof of "spawn of Satan" films, and had they made it clearer in pre-release, or even on the DVD box, that this was a spoof, the film might have been better received. As it stood, the fans of Asylum Films expected horror, and were not pleased. On the other hand, even if we assume a spoof, it is of dubious value. The low IMDb score sums it up quite well. There is nothing wrong with the photography, but there's no real laughs, the story is a yawner, and it's such a lackadaisical effort that the director had to run the credits in slow motion to pad the running time to 80 minutes.

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

D

NUDITY REPORT

  • Brief breasts from Nora Jesse

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

No major reviews online.

 

THE BOX OFFICE

Straight to video

 

THE PEOPLE

   
3.0 IMDB summary (of 10)
   

 

The Child