Biancaneve e i sette nani

Biancaneve e i sette nani (1995) from Tuna

Biancaneve e i sette nani (1995), or Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, is a direct to video hard-core spoof of the famous Brothers Grimm fairy tale. It was made by Italian director Luca Damiano, but was "Shooted" in Budapest, Hungry.

I will presume that everyone reading this knows the story of Snow White. As a reviewer at IMDb commented, this film remains true to the Disney story, which is not a huge surprise since the Disney version was in turn true to the original fairy tale. Of course, the reviewer may have meant that Ludmilla Antonova, in the title role, was wearing a duplicate of the Disney costume when she was wearing anything at all.

One tiny change from Disney's version: when the evil queen (Vicky) isn't questioning the mirror or turning herself into a witch, she has group sex with her male and female servants.

The Blue Prince is under constant pressure from his father to make grandchildren. He tries out his cousin Ursula, but she is only interested in sex, not kids. He then tries country girl Nicolette Lars, who is a perfect fit, but is already married. Meanwhile, Snow White is being given love lessons by all seven of the dwarfs. They patiently lead her through masturbation, fellatio, vegetable dildoes, and finally anal and vaginal sex, which of course prepares her for the arrival of her prince. Once the prince wakes her from the dead with his kiss, the celebrate by having sex with all seven dwarfs watching through a window grate and kibitzing.

This is the second best hard-core spoof I have seen, second only to the Alice In Wonderland Musical. Granted the sex becomes tedious, but a little less so than most hard core films. It runs a full 120 minutes, which is also unusual. Ludmilla Antonova looked adorable both in and out of her Snow White costume, and did a much more than adequate job playing a naive young woman.

DVD INFO

For some reason, this DVD is both rare and expensive, with people at IMDb asking for help locating their own copy.
There are currently two listed at Amazon.

NUDITY REPORT

This is a hard core film, so all of the women show everything, both full and empty. The two star with full names are Nicollette Lars and Ludmilla Antonova.

The Critics Vote ...

No major reviews online

The People Vote ...

IMDB summary. IMDb has this at 6.7, but with only 37 votes. Even so, that is a phenomenal score for a hard core effort seen by most people dubbed and subtitled.

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

Our own guideline:

A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre.
B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. In order to rate at least a B-, a film should be both a critical and commercial success. Exceptions: (1) We will occasionally rate a film B- with good popular acceptance and bad reviews, if we believe the critics have severely underrated a film. (2) We may also assign a B- or better to a well-reviewed film which did not do well at the box office if we feel that the fault lay in the marketing of the film, and that the film might have been a hit if people had known about it. (Like, for example, The Waterdance.)
C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by people who enjoy this kind of movie. If this is your kind of movie, a C+ and an A are indistinguishable to you.
C means it is competent, but uninspired genre fare. People who like this kind of movie will think it satisfactory. Others probably will not.
C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie, but genre addicts find it watchable. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film, but films with this rating should be approached with caution by mainstream audiences, who may find them incompetent or repulsive or both. If this is NOT your kind of movie, a C- and an E are indistinguishable to you.
D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-. Films rated below C- generally have both bad reviews and poor popular acceptance.
E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre.
F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C+. Given that hard-core sex films do not cross over into the mainstream, except maybe for Deep Throat, the highest possible score for a hard core under our system is a C+, and this is all of that.