Birth Rite (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

The film begins as two witch-hunters raid a mystical ceremony. The coven gathers around the altar, on which a little girl is lying. By the end of the incident, only three people remain alive. The little girl is rescued, one of the witch hunters survives, and one of the warlocks escapes in the hustle and bustle.

Fast forward 12 years. The witch hunter adopted the little girl and raised her with his own children. The warlock must eventually come back for her because she's destined to be the Grand Poobah of the Order of Witches, Local 33, and he was betrothed to her from the time she was born. He waited until she turned 18, he came to claim her. It's good to know that those with satanic powers respect the age of majority at 18. It would have been mighty inconvenient if Hell and Massachusetts had different laws, and he had shown up on her 13th birthday.


Natalie Sutherland shows her breasts in several scenes, albeit briefly each time.

You don't need to know any more, do you?

This movie is pretty much what you'd expect, which is to say "drive-in quality". The lead, Natalie Sutherland, is a 30ish sitcom actress from Scotland playing an 18 year old American high school student.

At one point the all-powerful warlock, who can travel through time, become invisible, and relocate instantaneously, is defeated by a high school student with a passing knowledge of the martial arts. And then the end of the film is one of those "superman turns back time by flying backwards" things. Yuck!

The DVD is not currently for sale. I rented it at Blockbuster, so I suppose it is one of their exclusives.

B-movie divas Brinke Stevens and Julie Strain appear in fully dressed cameos. Stevens is in a post-sexual phase of her acting career, but Strain is still hot, and looks as good as I've seen her look in years.

The Critics Vote

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The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, while it is rated a dismal 3.2 at IMDb, I thought it was better than most movies in that range, btu still not worth watching. I guess it might be a C- if it had more nudity and therefore appeal to a niche audience, but I have to say D as is. If you are not a B-movie schlock aficionados, find your entertainment elsewhere.

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