Birth Rite (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) |
The film begins as two witch-hunters raid a mystical ceremony. The coven gathers around the altar, on which a little girl is lying. By the end of the incident, only three people remain alive. The little girl is rescued, one of the witch hunters survives, and one of the warlocks escapes in the hustle and bustle. |
Fast forward 12 years. The witch hunter adopted the little girl and raised her with his own children. The warlock must eventually come back for her because she's destined to be the Grand Poobah of the Order of Witches, Local 33, and he was betrothed to her from the time she was born. He waited until she turned 18, he came to claim her. It's good to know that those with satanic powers respect the age of majority at 18. It would have been mighty inconvenient if Hell and Massachusetts had different laws, and he had shown up on her 13th birthday. |
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You don't need to know any more, do you? This movie is pretty much what you'd expect, which is to say "drive-in quality". The lead, Natalie Sutherland, is a 30ish sitcom actress from Scotland playing an 18 year old American high school student. At one point the all-powerful warlock, who can travel through time, become invisible, and relocate instantaneously, is defeated by a high school student with a passing knowledge of the martial arts. And then the end of the film is one of those "superman turns back time by flying backwards" things. Yuck! |
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B-movie divas Brinke Stevens and Julie Strain appear in fully dressed cameos. Stevens is in a post-sexual phase of her acting career, but Strain is still hot, and looks as good as I've seen her look in years. |
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