If you miss the old 1980s style of B-movie horror/comedy/nudie flims and wish that people still
made them, this is the film for you. It stars Jason Mewes (Silent Bob's not-so-silent partner, Jay). If you think about it,
Mewes was born to work in B movies. He can deliver a funny rant. He's a
good-looking guy with a good body. He's willing to do anything to make his
scenes work. In essence, he's a male version of an 80s scream queen: a
scream king!
In this film he plays a love-lorn paramedic who rescues a woman from
the alley behind his house, and becomes emotionally attached to her before
figuring out she's a vampire. Once that epiphany occurs, he has to try to
help her survive, so his life then consists of recruiting her victims and
later disposing of their blood-drained bodies. Once in a while, the
victims turn into additional vampires, so Jay has to drive a stake through
their hearts.
And you think YOUR relationship is demanding!
Bitten is, of course, a low-budget non-theatrical effort with lots of
rough edges, but the three main characters (the third is Jay's coarse
fellow paramedic) are pretty solid, and the film meets all the genre
requirements. There is plenty of gore, but it's comedy gore rather than
straight-up splatter, so it's there more to amuse you than to shock you.
There's girl-on-girl action and plenty of nudity. Erica Cox is beautiful,
with a gorgeous face to match the best body money can buy. There's also
quite a bit of raunchy humor, plenty of randy dialogue, and an offbeat
ending.
This sort of thing could have gotten monotonous quickly, but the
director was savvy enough to limit the running time to 80 minutes. As a
result, the action never slows down, there's minimal repetition, and the
audience has no opportunity to get restless. I'm almost embarrassed to
admit I like this kind of trash, but I found it a pretty easy way to pass
the time! (Erica's nudity really helped.)
