Blue Juice

Surfers with bushy blond hair, waitin' for the big waves to start breakin', while they live their drug-filled, responsibility-free lives in a way best described as catch-as-catch-can, mellowing out on tasty buds.

Whoa, bitchin' dude, except it isn't in Hawaii or Australia or California. Nope, it's in Cornwall.

Surfers in Cornwall?

Gnarly, guv.

Of course there are certain problems with surfing in Cornwall.

It's too cold about 350 days of the year.
There are no waves the other 15 days.
When they do get waves, they are only about two feet high, unless there is a dangerous storm.
Even when it's warm enough to surf, you have to wear a wet suit.
When you ride a wave successfully, you don't glide into some nice soft sand. You have to navigate some sharp rocks.
There's no place to buy surfing equipment

But, hey, life is never perfect.

Ignoring the fact that there is virtually no surfing in this movie, it is the usual surfing cliché film. The guy who used to be the Big Kahuna is now preparing to turn 30 and settle down with his best girlie. But his stoner surfin' pals show up one day and lure him out to play. He has to choose between his woman and his pals. He appears to have chosen the woman, and promises to give up surfing, until one of his stoned buddies enters a crazy surfing competition into an area known as The Boneyard, and Our Hero has don the wetsuit one more time to save him. Unfortunately, in so doing, he misses an important appointment that causes his girl to lose out on a piece of property she was trying to acquire.

But you can bet they'll make up, somehow.

NUDITY REPORT

female: none. Catherine Zeta Jones is seen in bikini underwear.

male: Sean Pertwee is seen wearing nothing but a black sock over his manly bits

As for the atmosphere, like all British movies that take place in outside of the cities, this film is filled with:

most people living their quaint lives in abject poverty.

very little contact with the 20th or 21st centuries.

eccentric little radio stations manned by the British equivalent of regional hayseeds

country lanes, surrounded by wild thicket ten feet tall, too narrow for two cars

very few trains or TV's or computers

run-down homes and "caravans"

no law enforcement, or at most a dotty cop who owns no weapons and rides a bike

sheep and cows wandering freely through every nook and cranny of existence, as in the Mel Brooks version of the Ol' West.

one group of poor eccentrics who want to do something not normally accepted by the tough fishermen and coal miners around them, be it ballet or surfing or stripping or trumpeting or whatever.

Everyone comes to love and accept everyone else just a little bit more, gosh darn it, because don't our eccentricities just make everybody's lives a little richer?

DVD info from Amazon.

Widescreen letterboxed, 1.85:1
grainy letterboxed transfer, no significant features

So, in order to appreciate this film, you will need to tolerate a surfing cliché movie that includes no actual surfing (actually about two minutes of footage), combined with the official British movie small town clichés.

The film is not without some charm and humor. It has the usual dotty colorful ancillary British characters, and some of them are hilarious, especially the fat surfer who is in love with a cow as well as Queen Guinevere (lovely Jenny Agutter in a cameo!). That guy was always wearing armor or impersonating the Silver Surfer, or trying to mate with barnyard animals, or something silly.

But overall, I just can't recommend this as a worthwhile way to pass your time. As far as I know, the writer-director hasn't done anything since.

The Critics Vote

No major reviews

The People Vote ...

With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 5.6

IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C-, and I rated it above D only because of the one funny guy. There's just no broad appeal, and I was so bored I had a hard time paying attention except when the fat dude was on.