Not for nothing is Blue Seduction represented by the initials B.S. - it's
another straight-to-vid "erotic thriller" which is neither erotic nor
thrilling.
In the erotic department it features only one exposed nipple which is seen
in nearly complete darkness. Worse, it's not the nipple of the sultry
seductress, but that of the frumpy, betrayed, 40ish wife.
In the thrilling department, it must have the single least logical
"surprise twist" I've ever seen. Here's how it goes down:
A washed-up pop star is facing a deadline from his record company, after
which he would forfeit several royalty streams. He must produce an album
within a week, but he's written only two songs and no longer performs his own
material. Therefore, within a single week he must find a prolific and speedy
collaborator, then he must find a great singer to perform his material, then
he must get the actual album produced in grueling recording sessions. This
won't be easy, since he lives in a remote area of Vermont, which is played by
New Brunswick. Somehow, miraculously, a beautiful female singer emerges at his
rinky-dink recording studio and blows everyone away with her renditions of the
songs Mr. Washout has already written. Even more miraculously, she is not only
the greatest singer since Sinatra, but she is also a brilliant songwriter, and
has conveniently already composed several great songs in the general style of
the washed-up star, only better. She is willing to give him those songs for
free, because she wants her big showbiz break. Even more miraculously, she
also want to screw him senseless 24/7, despite the fact that she's a hot young
tootsie and the greatest singer-songwriter in human history, while he is a
total burn-out who looks like he should be living under a bridge, trolling for
billy goats.
By the way, Estella Warren performed the songs in this film, and the girl
can carry a torch!
Now ... about that illogical twist I warned you about. Are you ready?
The femme fatale, a musical genius combining the best qualities of Sammy
Davis Jr, Mozart, and Marilyn Monroe, is actually not in the music business at
all, but is a hit woman. She has been hired by the wife, who is ostensibly a
goody-two-shoes, in a surprising grab for the life insurance.
I would love to know how the wife, operating from small-town Vermont, found
someone with that job description and with only a week to go before hubby
would lose all his revenue streams!
It must have been Craigslist.
Oh, the magic of the internet!
