Bound by Lies (2004) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This is a routine by-the-numbers STV "erotic thriller" with Kristy Swanson as a potential murder victim and Stephen Baldwin as the cop assigned to protect her. Baldwin has a beautiful wife at home, but you know how it is. He ends up having sex with Kristy anyway.

The actual murder mystery is solved about five minutes in! The main suspect is in custody, breaks free and proves that he is the psycho killer. End of mystery. The only real suspense, if I may use that word generously, involves whether the escaped psycho can get to Kristy while she has a 24 hour police guard. There are a few half-hearted red herrings, but they seem totally irrelevant given that the murderer is already identified. Frankly, I don't know why Baldwin was getting suspicious of other people. What the hell was he suspecting them of?

I know what it must have been. It reminds me of one time in Utica, New York when a police officer was threatening to arrest me and my friend because he received a complaint that two suspicious looking men were walking through town (we were looking for a good place to hitchhike). We didn't look all that suspicious. We were wearing suitcoats and ties! We asked him what our crime was, and he said he would arrest us "on suspicion". "Suspicion of being suspicious characters?", we asked. Boy, did that guy get mad when we started making fun of him. He made us walk to the Herkimer County line, and he drove by every five minutes to make sure we weren't hitchhiking! Anyway, I think that officer has now retired and is acting as the consultant to Stephen Baldwin.

Those purposeless red herrings weren't the only parts of the plot that seemed unnecessary. The very first scene is a flashback to six months earlier. We see that Baldwin made a reckless field decision and was suspended. Not only was that particular set of characters and circumstances unrelated to the main plot, but the script never made any use of the fact that Baldwin had been suspended, or that he had been reinstated. Why did they bother to include the back story? I suppose it was meant as character development, but I'm just not sure.

Since Kristy Swanson stays fully dressed in her big sex scene with Baldwin (perhaps because she has gained a lot of weight), this film would be a complete waste of time except that someone had the foresight to hire Gladise (Gladys) Jimenez in the thankless part of the wife at home. The beautiful Puertoriquena has been working on soap operas and "Tremors" since then, so she's had everything covered up since about 1999. She's ba-a-ack!



  • the widescreen transfer is crisp and clear, and is anamorphically enhanced to 16x9 screens
  • there are no meaningful features


Gladise Jimenez - breasts in a long scene. She goes from a shower to toweling off to the start of a sex scene.

Various models: pictures topless in still photos shown during the credits.

Kristy Swanson - bra and panties, but very modest versions.

The Critics Vote ...

  • No major reviews online

The People Vote ...

  • IMDB summary. IMDb voters score it 5.9/10, but that is based on 15 votes. I suppose it will end up about a point lower.
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a D+. It really has no suspense. It is not very erotic except for the topless scene with Gladys Jimenez. Given neither eroticism nor thrills, I'd have to say that it is missing the basic minimum requirements for an erotic thriller. On the other hand, it moves along at a decent pace, and there is nothing very bad about it.

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