Celebrity Sex Tape

 (2012)

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This neo-80s nerdsploitation film is another good-natured bit of silliness from the schlockmeisters at The Asylum. Five nerds crash a frat party and one of them miraculously ends up getting it on with a washed-up, drugged-out actress who's too wasted to realize he's a loser. Another of the geeks films the encounter, and a third puts the film on the internet. The geeks think they're in big legal trouble when the sex tape goes viral, but the actress's sagging career is instantly revitalized and suddenly every fading starlet wants to make one of their sex tapes!

Needless to say, there are various obstacles in their way:

• The central character has a virginal church-goin' girlfriend, and he has to hide his up-and-coming porn business from her.
• A sociopathic Hollywood agent and a porn webmaster threaten the guys because they want big chunks of the profits.
• The nerds also have to deal with the newly inflated ego of their "star," Sex Ed, the one nerd who actually has sex with the actresses, and who has become an international internet sensation. He even gets invited to parties by the campus jocks and frat boys.

Blah, blah, blah ...

It's a low budget version of every other nerdsploitation film you've ever seen, but with the additional bonus of lots and lots of horny sex scenes, some of which are pretty funny as well. The film is rated something like 1.4 at IMDb, which might put it in line to be the worst of all time. I disagree with that assessment. It ain't Schindler's List, but I found it to be an easy enough watch, and a lot of mindless fun.

Maybe that tells you more about me than it does about the movie.

The nudity comes from:

• Piper Major. I have to give you a warning on this one. Piper Major is a stand-up comic, not an actress. Her act milks a lot of humor out of the fact that she is morbidly obese. She strips to the buff in this movie. The scene is mercifully brief, but it is certainly not for everyone.

All of the other women are attractive enough:

• Julie Barzman
• Diana Terranova and Jenny Lin
• Maura Murphy
• Angie Savage
• Amanda Ward
• Erika Jordan
• Christine Nguyen
• Emily Addison
• various others

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

THE BOX OFFICE

None. Straight to DVD

NUDITY REPORT

• See the main commentary

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

C-

Despite the IMDb rating, one must note that it has enough nudity to meet the minimum genre requirements for an exploitation film.