The films opens with voice-over, describing the torture and punishment that were standard procedure in the Quing dynasty court, where they tortured confessions out of the accused, and then dispatched them in inventive ways. The narration is played seriously but, I am told, is hilarious to those who speak Cantonese. The entire film is a send-up of Quing dynasty court procedure, Taoist sexual practices and Confucian moralizing. Cut to a courtroom, where Little Cabbage (Yung Hung) is accused of murdering her husband and committing incest with Young Scholar, a wealthy prince. The facts of the case are that someone prescribed an aphrodisiac for her husband, who already had an enormous cock, and it exploded, killing him. More about that later.

The judge decides to loosen her tongue before questioning, and commands his men to "beat her ass 20 times," which they do gleefully right in the courtroom. She still claims she is being framed, and is innocent of both murder and adultery. The young scholar also proclaims his innocence. Little by little, in flashback sequences, interspersed with courtroom torture, we learn the story. The young scholar is married to over-sexed Ching Mai, and requires inventive marital aids to satisfy her. He is attracted to Little Cabbage's small feet, and brings her into his household. When her parents are killed by robbers, he takes responsibility for her, and wisher to marry her as a concubine. She asks that he wait for her one year of filial piety (mourning) to pass before taking her. Meanwhile, the wife is not thrilled at her presence, even less so when Little Cabbage spies on her having sex with the judge's son.

Ching Mai waits until Young Scholar is away on business, and marries Little Cabbage off to a poor man with a gargantuan penis, thinking that he will kill her with it. Afraid of him, Little Cabbage cowers on their wedding night, until he realizes that intercourse is probably not possible given his size, and we have a tender homage to the pottery wheel scene in Ghost, complete with Unchained Melody playing on traditional Chinese Instruments, while she masturbates him. Meanwhile, the young scholar is having adventures on his own, in the persons of two "Sex Fu" masters, Elvis Tsui and Julie Lee Wah-yuet, who fly through the air having sex, much like the fight scenes in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Elvis finally satisfies Julie her with a combination of "Invincible Mouth," "Oral Attack," "Invincible Wheel" and the highly-prized "Wonder Screw."

The two sex masters befriend the young scholar, a friendship that later helps his sister save him and Little Cabbage. The judge's son is not yet through with his dirty work. He decides to become invisible to screw Little Cabbage. When he tries, her husband defends her honor against the invisible attacker by slipping between the two and getting a mouthful of man-juice for his trouble. Thus Little Cabbage, who is accused of adultery, is still a virgin. The judge, in trying to protect his son, employs everything he can think of to extract confessions, including finger torture, pulling out of fingernails, bamboo under the fingernails, and more.

It is my understanding that the dialogue is superb in the original Cantonese. The subtitles can't come close to giving us that experience, but they do add their own unique humor, such as a women shouting at the height of passion, "It is so comfortable, it is so comfortable." Remember that this is a comedy, lest you take the torture, which will make you wince, too seriously.