by Tuna

Cloaca is a film created for Dutch TV from a stage play of the same name. It centers around four middle-aged former college pals. Number one is married with children, not getting along with his wife, and expects to be made a cabinet minister. When he stomps out of his house, he goes to see number two, who was a prominent lawyer before wigging out on coke, waking up nearly naked in Barcelona, then going through both rehab and institutionalization. He now works writing fashion blurbs for a Web site. They go to see number three, a gay man who studied art history, but ended up working in the ministry of culture. The gay man has a problem. For each of his past 21 birthday presents, the ministry allowed him to take the painting of his choice from work rejected by the city. He had good taste, and now some of them are valuable, and the city wants them back. He gets buddy number two, the lawyer, to help him. Buddy number four is a single theater director who is starring number one's daughter in his newest production, and banging her after rehearsal, even though she is only 17. Her father has no idea.

The question becomes, do these four men still have enough in common to pull together?

I found it to be predictably static, true to its provenance as TV fare that has its roots on stage. Dutch reviewers seem to appreciate it, so it is possible that the dialogue is really clever in the original language, but relying on subtitles for what is a rather talky film destroys that aspect for non-native speakers, so I'm at a loss to explain the high IMDb rating.


Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


Dutch commenters at IMDb seem to feel this is a terrific film. Since the play is basically 100% dialogue, you might like it more than a "C-" if you speak Dutch.


  • Caro Lenssen, as the young girl, does full frontal in two scenes, and shows breasts in a sex scene.

  • Marleen Stolz, as a hooker, shows breasts.


  • No English-language reviews online.



Made for TV in The Netherlands





7.9 IMDB summary (of 10)





It is available from on an all region PAL with optional English subtitles. There is a director's commentary, but it is in Dutch.