Cold Heart Canyon

 (2008)

by Tuna

Cold Heart Canyon (2008) is a direct-to-DVD offering that was probably intended for a spot on the erotic thriller shelf. Aubrey Caldwell moves to Laurel Canyon to get over her divorce, and meets an attractive couple, Will Lupardus and Lee Anne Davis. The three end up in a ménage a trois, and then Caldwell and Lupardus get serious. Lee Anne Davis disappears, but while Lupardus is away on business, another man shows up, claims to be a police officer, and convinces her that Lupardus is a killer.

The budget is given at approximately $50k, which is amazing. That's not much money to produce a feature-length film, even assuming that all the performers and crew work for food, the locations are all stolen, the entire film is shot on video, and the 90 minute runtime includes 12 minutes of repeat footage for padding.

And yet, despite that economic miracle, you would make a much better film if you had $50,000.

Even if you left the lens-cap on.

Cold Heart Canyon is as light on erotica as it is on thrills. The performers, while uniformly attractive, are also uniformly bad. It's currently rated 2.0 at IMDb, but that is based on only 19 votes. I suspect it will settle in a little lower when all votes are counted.

 

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is an:

E

NUDITY REPORT

  • Aubrey Caldwell sort of shows one breast.

  • Lee Anne Davis shows both breasts in a medium long shot.

  • Cassie Courtland shows breasts in a flashback scene showing Caldwell's ex cheating.

  • Holly Morgan shows everything as a call girl that Lupardus gives to Caldwell as a birthday present.

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

No major reviews online

 

THE BOX OFFICE

No theatrical release.

 

THE PEOPLE

   
2.0 IMDB summary (of 10)
   

DVD INFO

* no widescreen

* no features