CrissCross (1992) from Tuna

CrissCross (1992) is now on DVD. The good news is that it features Goldie Hawn, but the bad news is that it is a serious role rather than a comedy, and is my least favorite of her films. She is the mother of a 12 year old living in the Florida Keys. Her ex husband was a Naval Aviator who lost it in Nam when he accidently bombed a children's hospital, and is now caretaker at a monastery. She waitresses by day, and tends bar at night to make ends meet, and jumps at the chance to strip rather than tend bar because of the extra money.

NUDITY REPORT

Goldie is seen in her strip act in a g-string and pasties. The pasties are fairly large, but the g-string shows her buns completely.

DVD info from Amazon

  • full screen and widescreen anamorphic versions

Her son does many jobs, such as paper route, pool cleaning, and picks up fish from a shrimper in his motorboat and delivers them to a restaurant. It is this last job that sets the plot in motion. After discovering that his mom is stripping, he also discovers that one of the fish in his delivery is full of cocaine, and concocts a plan to sell it so his mother won't have to strip. Naturally, he approaches the two hippest guys on the beach for the sale, and they turn out to be narcs.

The Critics Vote ...

  • No major reviews online

The People Vote ...

  • It was barely released, grossing three million dollars.
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a C-. There was nothing wrong with Goldie's performance, but I feel her time is much better spent doing comedy, and the film is rather predictable.

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