Cutaway (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
|For some years now, Scoopy Junior
and I have been in search of the worst cast ever
assembled. This film isn't the champion, but it may be
the worst of the Year 2000. Any film that stars Stephen
Baldwin, Dennis Rodman, and Casper Van Dien is OK by me.
|I think the plot is supposed to be this.
(Spoilers) A customs agent suspects that precision
skydivers are being used to deliver drugs in Miami. He is
right. It is pretty cool how these guys drop from the
heavens, and land right in the backyards of the crime
bosses. They're like the Domino's Pizza of crime, except
that evil crime bosses are notoriously poor tippers.
topless woman is inadvertently exposed when a
skydiver accidentally tears down her tent when he
makes his landing. Very brief, and anonymous.
|The agent infiltrates the skydivers, and
becomes obsessed with the sport himself. He becomes one
of the best in the world, and even makes a drug delivery
himself. He arrests the lead skydiver right after their
team wins the nationals - they are still in the air at
the time he reads the guy his rights - and the arrested
guy cuts his parachute in order to plummet to certain
death rather than go to prison. You see, Mr. lead
skydiver wasn't really a bad guy. He was only selling the
drugs to finance the training for his team.
The agent then
quits the force and becomes the new lead skydiver.
know that, unlikely as it seems, I actually watched every
minute of this thing. The plot stinks, the acting is
worse than in porn films, and the dialogue is duller than
dishwater. But the skydiving scenes are absolutely
spectacular, and the actual skydiving must be about 80%
of the running time!
one of the best action scenes ever filmed. Baldwin and
his mentor are at a fete atop a 50 story office building
in Miami, when the party is busted by the FBI. The two of
them just delivered some drugs to the party. They escape
by jumping off the roof of the building and using their
auxiliary parachutes. They were really close to the
ground before they activated those chutes.
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters
score it 6.2, which is about 5.2 higher
than it deserved. Apollo users a more
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a C. If you like
skydiving, you'll like it. If not, it is a
complete waste of your time.
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