Or maybe it is their
wide range of skills. One is a librarian who has read many books about
how to be tough and stuff. One is a stripper who has her uncanny
ability to - um - spin. One is an Olympic swimmer, with an
uncanny ability to look good in a bikini. Most important, their
leader, the omnipresent Sabrina, used to be the bad guy's girlfriend,
so she knows all his weaknesses, like where he keeps his really bad
toupee. The strongest element on the side of the dolls is their magic
explosive powder, the strongest explosive force "outside the
atom". When the girls put this in the bad guys' drinks, it makes
them explode without a trace. (A very useful thing in a zero budget
film, because it can be done by stopping the camera, having the guys
leave the frame, then re-starting. Poof, they're gone.)
The girls attack the island in two
squads. Four of the girls approach the island by sea in a boat, while
the other two arrive in a jeep. While they seem to be oblivious to the
fact that one cannot drive a jeep from the USA to a Caribbean Island,
they seem to have technology at their disposal that we can only dream
of. Like the exploding drink powder. About 15 minutes of running time
is killed by the girls' approach to the island. Jeep driving through
desert. Girls consult map. Boat sailing. Girls use binoculars. Repeat
several times, occasionally swapping the map to the boat and the
binoculars to the jeep.
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| The six of them wipe out the Evil
Army. (Actually, four of them were tied up, so the librarian had to
wipe out the army pretty much alone, but she had read the right
books.)
On their way back to the boat, they
run into a roadblock, so they reach to the floor of their jeep and
pull out their bazooka (I'm not kidding). This bazooka, roughly as big
as one of the girls, had never been introduced before that point
(about a minute before the credits).
But I admire their preparation. |
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DVD info from Amazon.
Widescreen anamorphic,
1.78:1. The film was cheap, and is 30 years old, but the
transfer is as good as possible.
Full-length director
commentary(!!)
remiscences
from Tura Satana
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This was directed by the legendary
Ted Mikels (Astro-Zombies). According to legend, he sued Aaron
Spelling for developing "Charlie's Angels" from his concept.
Not sure how that lawsuit worked out. Maybe he revealed the details on
his commentary, which I didn't have time to listen to.
Commentary? Yup! Surprisingly for a
thirty year old movie rated 2.8 at IMDb, it contains a full-length
director's commentary on the DVD, and it looks pretty good for a movie
filmed thirty years ago on the cheap.
My favorite flub: remember that the
boat captain dropped off four girls. He was not part of the mission
and he didn't know what their purpose was. The other two approached by
jeep. Of the six girls, one was killed and didn't come back, so five
girls made the return trip in the boat. Now, of course, the boat
captain should have asked "where did you pick up an extra
girl?", since he thought there were four. Instead, he asks how
they lost one. Now, the question is, how did he know there were
supposed to be six? I guess he had already watched the movie at his
local teatro in Caracas.
The DVD transfer lovingly preserves
the flubbed lines, the lack of continuity, the
bimbo-in-a-car-commercial acting level, and the plot's complete lack
of consideration for elements revealed earlier in the movie. If you're
the right kind of person, this movie may be just what you are looking
for.
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The
Critics Vote
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The People
Vote ...
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters
score it a sterling 2.8. Very close to the list of
the all-time worst, but no cigar. (It requires 2.2 or less
to make the bottom 100)
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| IMDb
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
is. My own
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is an E by any objective standard, but
could be a C for you, depending on your sense of humor. If you
love to sit down with friends and laugh at bad movies, this
one is your kind of material. If you are looking for a real
movie, move along.
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