Epic Movie: Unrated


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This is another spoof from the assembly line that churned out Date Movie. The critics actually liked this one less than Date Movie, which they hated to begin with. Epic Movie earned only 2% positive reviews, which was exactly one positive notice! Surprisingly, the one and only positive review came from the respected Owen Gleibermann of Entertainment Weekly!

Average movie fans didn't like it any more than the critics did. As I write this, it is rated the 42nd worst movie of all time at IMDb.

Frankly, it's not anywhere near the bottom 100 of all time, and it's actually better than Date Movie, which had no laughs at all. I'd rate it a cut higher than its predecessor for  a couple of reasons:

1. The spoofs are tied together by a reasonably coherent narrative structure.

2. There is some nice nudity, including a properly lit full-frontal scene featuring Audra Lynn.

3. The film has a good moment or two from some reasonably talented people, like Kal Penn, Crispin Glover, and Stifler's Mom. (Although not one good moment, sadly enough, from Fred Willard.)

Don't misinterpret what I am saying. It is a poor movie, just not as poor as others have claimed. I suppose it would have some appeal for young boys, since it features plenty of jokes about bodily functions, a plethora of bickering and head-bopping in the manner of the Three Stooges (spiced with crotch kicks, just to demonstrate it's not your father's slapstick), and lots of sexual and pseudo-sexual references. Unfortunately, mom is not going to let those boys watch this movie unless she is completely in the dark about the raunchy contents.

If you're past the fifth grade, you'll want to skip it. The film has the same inherent problem as Date Movie: it has plenty of movie references, but no real wit or parody. It's like the most obvious film spoofs in the most juvenile years of Cracked magazine, basically just name-dropping and slapstick with no real comedy after the "recognition factor." The comic theory, if you want to call it that, is that if you dress like up like and do an impersonation of a film character, that is a joke in and of itself. Many speculate that may have also been the theory of the missing second book of Aristotle's Poetics, which was supposed to have dealt with comedy. If so, it would explain why some medieval monk probably shit-canned it, because even in the Dark Ages, they must have written better jokes than this ...

... although I can't actually recall an example to prove my point.


Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:



Audio Commentary

"How Gratuitous"

Everyone Loves Beaver - Epic Hook Ups

Making the Video: Pirate Rap

Gag Reel

Alternate Ending

Easter Eggs

Movie Channel Piece


It was nominated for an Oscar for cinematography.

1 James Berardinelli (of 4 stars)
1 BBC (of 5 stars)
2 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
17 Metacritic.com (of 100)


2.2 IMDB summary (of 10)
  (Worst 50 of all time.)


Box Office Mojo. It somehow managed to open in the #1 slot with an $18 million weekend, and finished with a respectable $39m domestic and another $45m overseas.


  • Audra Lynn - full frontal nudity in good light.
  • Heather Storm - brief but clear topless topless
  • Danny Jacobs - bum

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