Eternal Blood (2002) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

The film "Eternal Blood" derives its title from a role-playing game, kind of a vampire version of Dungeons and Dragons, which is played by the Goths in the university at Santiago, Chile.

We see many vampirical things happen, but those turn out to be adventures spun by the players during the game. Then one of the Goths begins to suspect that his colleagues are not just a bunch of kids who fantasize about being vampires. He secretly witnesses some events which lead him to suspect that some of the players really are vampires. Fearing for his life, he steels himself for battle against the forces of darkness, and starts killing his friends, or at least trying to.

NUDITY REPORT

Blanca Lewin shows her breasts in a dark sex scene, then again on the operating table.

So the mystery, such as it is, is this:

1. Is he killing vampires, or is he a deeply deluded druggie killing his friends?

2. Did any of the vampire adventures actually happen, or were they simply more visualizations of events created within the game?

I know that I, for one, didn't care about either question.

This Chilean genre film is not especially interesting, but it does try to conceive of some new vampire mythology, and this leads to some pretty cool splatter scenes. For example, the vampires don't bite one's neck. They pull off one's head with their super-strength, then hold the head aloft and drink from the dripping blood.

DVD info from Amazon

  • no widescreen, but lots of features, including:

  • commentary

  • "making of"

  • deleted scenes

You have a choice of Spanish with English subtitles or English dubbing. Neither is adequate. The English dubbed dialogue is more accurate and flavorful, but the actual dubbing is incompetently performed by non-actors. The subtitled English, on the other hand, is a watered-down version of what they are actually saying. The most fun can be had by watching it dubbed in English with English subtitles, because its like watching a Tarantino film translated into Disneyspeak. A character will say something like, "that's totally fucked", and the subtitles will say something like, "gosh, that isn't good".

The Critics Vote

  • no English-language reviews online

The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a classic C- movie by our rating system. If you like vampire films, this adds some new concepts with some interesting visualizations. If you don't like vampire genre films, it's another one with some heavy-handed rapid editing and an oppressive heavy metal score, in which the creative visuals don't offer enough of what you are looking for in a film. Plus you either have to watch it in Spanish or poorly-dubbed English.

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