The Grotesque


by Tuna

The Grotesque, also known as Gentlemen Don't Eat Poets and Grave Indiscretion, is a Gothic dark comedy/mystery.

Paleontologist Sir Hugo Coal (Alan Bates), his adult daughter (Lena Headey) and his American wife (Theresa Russell) live together in a stately old country mansion. Also living on the premises is George (Jim Carter), who was with Sir Hugo on his bone collecting expeditions, and now serves as his hog-keeper and butcher. His daughter's young man - a wannabee poet- arrives, much to Sir Alan's dismay, and a new butler (Sting) and cook (Trudie Styler, aka Mrs. Sting) also arrive.

The wife is the one with the money, and old Sir Hugo is far more interested in his paleontology than any of his wife's body parts, so she makes an attractive target for seduction by Sting. When Sting learns that Sir Hugo is set against the poet, he also seduces him - and the young man goes missing. The poet's mother arrives on the scene to help with the investigation, and a body is eventually found, with the flesh eaten by pigs, and the bones showing lots of tooth marks. Sting then pushes Sir Hugo, who falls into a coma, and the police arrest George the hog-keeper for the crime. What happens after that is somewhat arguable due to an ambiguous ending.

The ending was disappointing, and the long process of getting there wasn't much fun either. I did enjoy several of the characters, but the plot was not at all engrossing. Not only that, but I am reasonably sure the butler did it.

This is a low C-, but offers some very rare nudity, available only on a Region 2 PAL DVD. If interested, click on this image:



Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


This is a low C-, but offers some very rare nudity

Region 2 PAL only, click the picture for info

If you are curious about all-region DVD players, click on the image below.


There are some major reviews linked from IMDb, but no graded ones. Variety basically gave it a thumb down


5.1 IMDB summary (of 10)




  • The film does have one genuine plus. Theresa Russell was once close to stardom, and she did full frontal nudity here which has rarely been seen anywhere.

  • Trudie Styler shows her bum in a fantasy sequence.