Heartbreak High

 (filmed in 1979, distributed in 1981)

AKA: The Kinky Coaches and the Pom Pom Pussycats

by Tuna

Heartbreak High is a raunchy teen comedy from Canada with a cast including Dean Wormer (John Vernon), Norman Fell and Robert Forster. Had it come five to ten years later, it could have been described as a fast-buck attempt to cash in on the teen genre, which had by then become the industry's ATM. But this predated Porky's (also a Canadian film), 16 Candles, Risky Business, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Breakfast Club, etc. and hence should have had uniqueness going for it and should now be considered a pioneer.

In this less than perfect world, however, it is a monumental piece of dung.

Two rival schools in a town are working up to the big football game for the league championship and the coveted Hick Cup. Naturally, this involves coaches with odd habits, horny football players, and the girls that love them. One of the coaches (Dean Wormer) has been wearing his lucky longjohns for 30 years in preparation for the big game. The other (Robert Forster) has football-themed sex with the school music teacher, and once played for his rival coach. Predictably, the big game came down to the wire.

The genre would dictate practical jokes and harassment leading up to game day, but the best these folks could do was a player jumping from the counter of a diner and sitting on a cream pie, spraying it all over students from the other school, or one quarterback organizing a strip poker game to embarrass the other team's quarterback.

Not only the film very badly written and acted, but it also looks bad, the jokes don't work, and there is nowhere near enough skin for a raunchy teen comedy. The girls' locker room scene doesn't even have breast exposure!

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


The poor digital transfer is simply another reason the film is unwatchable, and drops the "as is" grade from E to F. It might be an E if remastered from a pristine print.



* no widescreen

* mono sound

* no features




No reviews online, but one IMDb comment says that Siskel and Ebert once chose this as their "dog of the week"




1.9 IMDB summary (of 10)


No information available.




  • Christine Cattell shows her breasts in a strip poker game