Hexed

Following the success of Body Heat in 1981, A-list erotic thrillers became so popular in the 80s and early 90s that they started to get big box office numbers and even to earn some Academy Award nominations. The summit of the genre's popularity occurred in 1992, when respected director Paul Verhoeven directed Basic Instinct to $352 million dollars in worldwide grosses, two Oscar nominations, and instant stardom for writer Joe Eszterhas and actress Sharon Stone.

Genre spoofs were also popular during the same time period, so it was just about inevitable that the extreme popularity of 1992's much discussed Basic Instinct would result in two spoofs in 1993: Fatal Instinct and Hexed.

Fatal Instinct was a zany spoof in the manner of the Zucker films. While no masterpiece, it featured some competent players and was directed by Carl Reiner, so at least it included a soupcon of professionalism and delivered a few laughs, if too few to be considered a success.

Hexed, on the other hand, is not really a spoof so much as a situation comedy in the context of an erotic thriller.

The protagonist of the Hexed story is Matthew, a 30 year old schmuck who has been working the same job at a hotel front desk since he graduated from high school. His life has become so unrewarding that his only pleasure comes from wild fantasy escapades in which he impersonates other people. He has made up so many stories in so many different false identities that he has a hard time keeping them all straight. One of his most outrageous recent lies involves telling his co-workers about his sexual relationship with the world's most famous supermodel, Hexina (Claudia Christian). Imagine his chagrin, and the delight of his fellow workers, when they find out that Hexina is coming for an unannounced and secret stay at their obscure hotel!

At first the entire situation works out far better than Matthew could ever have dreamed. Because he controls Hexina's incoming calls, he's able to insert himself into her life and even into hr bed. The situation turns around dramatically for him, however, when he finds out that Hexina is actually a psychotic killer whose secret purpose for visiting their city is essentially a murder spree. Things get worse when he becomes her unwitting accomplice. Things get as bad as possible when the police finally uncover the crimes, because Hexina appears to be innocent, and all the evidence points to Matthew.

As I mentioned above, Hexed plays out like a sitcom pilot too naughty for TV, which is not surprising because Alan Spencer was the creator and head writer of a TV series called "Sledge Hammer!" That series had some funny moments, but Spencer couldn't quite seem to bring the positives of the series into this film. Every joke is obvious, overplayed, and telegraphed well in advance; and the performances are too broad. The 4.4 at IMDb speaks for itself. It's not unpleasant. It's just not worth watching.

DVD INFO

The transfer is widescreen, anamorphically enhanced for 16x9 screens.
There is a full-length director's commentary
There are three deleted scenes.

NUDITY REPORT

Claudia Christian showed her nipples briefly from time to time.

Shelley Michelle did the heavy-duty body doubling for Christian, and showed her breasts and buns repeatedly.

The Critics Vote ...

James Berardinelli: one half of a star.

The People Vote ...

IMDB summary. IMDb voters score it 4.4/10

Somehow this film was given a theatrical release and grossed $3m.

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, it's a D. You'll have a hard time milking any laughs from this even if you love genre spoofs. I love genre spoofs, and I enjoyed Spencer's "Sledge Hammer!" series, but I couldn't get into this film at all.