The Hottie and the Nottie


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This film has earned more than its share of notoriety, for at least three reasons:

(1) It is rated on the very bottom of IMDb's all-time worst list with a cumulative score of 1.1/10. Nearly 88% of the 11,000 voters have awarded it the minimum score of 1/10.

(2) Critics hated it just as much as the IMDb crowd. Metacritic estimated the average review to be 7 points on a 100-point scale, which is worse than 1/2 of a star on a five star scale. Rotten Tomatoes reports that 95% of the reviews were negative. I read all of the other 5% and can report that they were not very enthusiastic either. More than one critic said it was below Paris Hilton's dignity which, if you think about it, must bring it quite close to the cinematic equivalent of absolute zero.

(3) It was released theatrically in 111 theaters and grossed a whopping $27,000, a result so anemic as to incite a riot among theater owners, who blew it out after the opening weekend. It averaged $249 per theater for the three-day run. Assuming a standard five screenings per day and eight bucks per ticket, that works out to two people per screening.

To be honest, it is not nearly bad enough to have earned such critical and box office opprobrium. It is a predictable, 1980s-style youthploitation comedy, to be sure, but it is not significantly worse than other similar recent efforts like Good Luck, Chuck or The Heartbreak Kid, which are rated 5.5 and 5.9 at IMDb.

A guy in his mid twenties has been dreaming about his first grade sweetheart (Paris, the hottie) for two decades, and moves back to his home town to meet her. As it turns out, she has been thinking of him as well, and would love to give romance a try, but she has resolved not to get laid until she can muster up a boyfriend for her ugly best friend (the nottie), who was also in their first grade class, and is still just as virginal as she was back then. It is thus incumbent upon our hero to get the nottie cleaned up and into the dating scene so that he can woo the hottie. You have probably already figured out that the cleaned-up nottie turns out to be pretty durned hot herself and ... well, you get the picture.

In addition to those three stock characters, the film has a fourth stereotype, the hero's nerdy best friend who dispenses bad advice freely, as previously played in many raunchy 1980s youthploitation comedies by Curtis "Booger" Armstrong. The Booger role in this film is essayed by a guy named The Greg Wilson. That's not a misprint. His first name is The. Well, not really, but this is Hollywood, playing by SAG union rules, which work just like the Highlander law: there can be only one. I guess the one available Greg Wilson union card was taken, so our boy first tried out the nondescript moniker of Greg D. Wilson, then settled on the more memorable The Greg Wilson.

The film is just the usual stuff. It's all been done better a score of times before, but there's nothing so very awful about it except the fact that it's an R-rated premise cobbled into a PG-13 movie (no nudity!), so it's sort of tepid pseudo-raunch instead of the real thing, but it's certainly not a film which can compete with the real bottom-dwellers for the "worst of all time" trophy. Compared to Manos or Glam, this seems like Casablanca.

What, then, caused the outpouring of hate? In two words: Paris Hilton. She starred in the film as the titular hottie, and also acted as executive producer. In other words, it was basically a vanity project in which she used her money to showcase her ... um ... talent.

The Hilton Factor worked against the film in two ways:

First, many people just hate Paris Hilton. The vast majority of the people who voted at IMDB never saw the film at all, and even admit so in their comments. After all, we know the box office numbers. By the time the film had accumulated 11,000 votes, it had not been released on home media, not even on a bootleg, so only 3,000 people had actually seen it!

Second, even those people who do not hate Paris must acknowledge that her acting ability and comedic timing are limited, thus causing this film to be much weaker than it would have been with, for example, Cameron Diaz in the same role. When people love or hate something about a new film they tend to act out their passion and assign a 10 or a 1 before reason prevails.

Mind you, I'm not recommending the film. It's pretty bad. But if you've been watching HBO regularly for a quarter of a century, you've probably seen a hundred films as bad or worse. If it had starred Jessica Alba instead of Paris, it would be rated in the fours or fives at IMDb, and if it had starred Alba minus some vital items of apparel, I would be using this paragraph to praise its value as genre entertainment.


* widescreen anamorphic

* whatever







1 The Guardian (of 5 stars)
0.5 James Berardinelli (of 4 stars)
1 BBC  (of 5 stars)
5 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
7 (of 100)




1.1 IMDB summary (of 10)

That is the lowest score in their database.


F Yahoo Movies




Box Office Mojo. $27,000 in 111 theaters over three days.








Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


While it is not a film I would recommend, it is nowhere near as bad as indicated by the IMDb score.