Jet Lag (2002) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna

original French title: Décalage horaire, which means "French J-Lo movie".

Scoop's thoughts in white:

I'll bet you think that the French only make deep, honorable, arty, talky movies about weighty philosophical matters and lost loves and roads not taken.

NUDITY REPORT

Binoche shows the top of her areolae while talking on the phone, and shows her butt as she emerges from a skinny dip.

Think again, amigos. This is your basic Matthew McConaughey movie, what one reviewer at IMDb called "second-rate romantic comedy drivel", except with a few modifications:

1. The part of Kate Hudson, slash Doris Day, is played by Juliette Binoche.

2. The part of Matthew McConaughey, slash Rock Hudson, is played by Jean Reno. (???!!!!)

3. It's in French.

Apparently this is an attempt to break the "French movie" stereotypes and prove that France can "do" Hollywood, and that French actresses can have just as many face lifts and wear just as much make-up as Cher.

You may be tempted to see it because you like Reno or Binoche or both. Don't. Film Threat wrote: "This film will probably appeal to some North Americans because of the talent involved (that and the fact it’s French). Don’t be fooled – this film is a sticky piece of cinematic merde."

DVD info from Amazon

  • Widescreen anamorphic, 2.35. Good transfer

Actually, the easiest thing in the world to do is to review Jean Reno movies.

  • If he wears sunglasses: cool movie.

  • No sunglasses: movie sucks in unlimited quantities, even draining the secret strategic Vatican Holy Water reserve,

TUNA's THOUGHTS

Jet Lag (2002) has Juliette Binoche and Jean Reno stranded in Paris due to adverse weather and transportation strikes. They meet when she borrows his cell phone after accidently flushing hers down the toilet. She is a make-up expert fleeing an abusive relationship. He once was a famous chef, but now does frozen foods. He also just ended a long term relationship.

By now, you can guess that they end up together at the end of the film, but let me remove any doubts you may have had:

They dislike each other at first.

They spend most of the film talking about cooking, relationships, feelings and emotions. The difference at IMDB between male and female votes is 1.2, a sure chick flick indicator, but I submit that the mere existence of both relationship and feelings in a plot summary assures a chick flick.

The Critics Vote ...

  • Super-panel consensus: two stars. Ebert 2/4, Berardinelli 2.5/4.

The People Vote ...

  • It grossed about a half million in the USA, performed similarly in several European countries. It grossed about $9 million dollars in France.
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a C- (both reviewers). Scoop says, "If you actually like romantic comedy drivel, it's a barely acceptable one in French with major stars. If not, it's manure. I don't much like Matthew McConaughey - Kate Hudson - J-Lo movies, and I found it excruciating. It almost broke my heart to see the iconic Reno, the coolest Frenchman since Belmondo, playing a complete dweeb in this merde." Tuna notes, "Talky films in a foreign language are never good for me, even with subtitles and a dubbed English version. The subtlety that makes or breaks a dialogue-heavy film is lost in even a very good translation. This is a C-. I hated it, and thought it a waste of two talented performers, but some others enjoyed it."

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