The Last American Virgin

WARNING: COMPLETE SPOILERS

The Last American Virgin is a raunchy "coming of age" comedy made in 1982. That was the year of the Big Bang in the youthploitation universe. The Last American Virgin came out at about the same time and shares some plot elements with Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It also came out at about the same time and covers some of the same ground as Porky's. Those three films were the groundbreakers for the genre of sexy coming-of-age films which would dominate comedy in the 80s and make stars of Tom Cruise, John Cusack, and Matthew Broderick. The original group was soon followed by Risky Business, Ferris Buehler's Day Off, Better Off Dead, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Revenge of the Nerds, and many lesser efforts.

Although it seems as American as any of the other titles on that list, The Last American Virgin is actually a remake of an Israeli film made just four years earlier. The first version, called Lemon Popsicle, takes place in Tel Aviv in 1960. Despite the geographic and chronological differences between the films, they are extremely similar. Many scenes are nearly identical, and the plots are perfectly parallel, given the changes necessary to update and relocate the action. Both films were written and directed by Boaz Davidson.

If you read the comments about this movie at IMDb, you would think that Last American Virgin is some kind of lost and forgotten cinema classic, like the first cut of The Magnificent Ambersons. That isn't true. In many ways it is just another low-budget 1980s youthsploitation movie turned out by the cinema chop-shop of Golan and Globus. The editing is clumsy, some of the scene transitions seem to be missing critical footage, and crucial elements of the storyline seem to be missing.

And yet, in certain ways, it is a very special film, and not just because it was a genre pioneer. Of all the youthsploitation films I have ever seen, this is the one that could most likely have been based on the work of a soulful and cynical genius like Dostoevsky. Yes, it contains all the standard elements of "young guys want to get laid" movies, but the various hijinks revolve around a very realistic romantic triangle, and the evolution of the three-person dynamic reveals some uncomfortable truths about human nature. The shy, sincere guy falls in love with a new girl at their school. His confident, scheming, womanizing friend gets to the girl first, takes her virginity, then dumps her callously, although he's fully aware that she is pregnant. The shy, nice guy then cleans up the situation. He arranges it so that the girl can get an abortion without telling her parents. He pays for the abortion, then nurses her back to health. She's grateful, and they seem to be falling in love. He's on cloud nine.

Then, just days later, he sees her making out with the slick guy who dumped her.

The movie ends right there, with our hero in tears.

I'm not saying that such an ending is better or worse than the ending of American Pie or Fast Times. There are plenty of objections that you could raise, like: "Whoa, what a downer for a relaxing summer T&A movie, dude!"; or "The so-called hero of this film is the weepiest-ass, sorriest, most moon-eyed and pathetically lovelorn teenager ever." I agree with those sentiments but, dammit, you have to admire a filmmaker that could have taken the expedient way out and let the nice guy get the girl, Hollywood style, yet chose instead to reach for the truth.

Whoda thunk it from a Golan and Globus film?

Here are some other things I like about the movie:

1. This film's T&A is gorgeous. Diane Franklin was a beautiful young woman with an angelic face, and this film catches her at her most completely ethereal and heavenly. Louisa Moritz did some crazy sex scenes.

2. The sound track is terrific, and is a great time capsule for that era. It is the greatest collection of soulful 70s and early 80s ballads. These filmmakers were smart enough to set aside enough of their meager budget to get the best songs available.

3. The DVD transfer is perfect. There aren't any extras, but it is a simply luscious 1.85:1 widescreen anamorphic transfer. This cheap 80s T&A film looks better on DVD than many acclaimed classics. The colors are vivid, the scenes are uniformly clear and bright, and the entire print looks absolutely pristine.

DVD info from Amazon

see the main commentary
there is also a full screen version

NUDITY REPORT

Diane Franklin: breasts more than once, and the top of her pubic hair.
Louisa Moritz: breasts, and a brief flash of pubes.
Gerri Idol - breasts
Tessa Richarde -breasts.
The requisite shower room peeping tom scene include full frontal nudity from one woman and a side view of pubes from another.
Steve Antin and Joe Rubbo show their buns

TUNA's THOUGHTS

Scoop mentioned the producers Golan and Globus several times. If you watch many films, you can't help but have noticed that their name comes up very frequently. In fact, they are famous for the prolific nature of their output. Yoram Globus and Menahem Golan have been involved in 205 films together and separately, beginning in 1964. So who are these people?

Menahem Golan was born Menahem Globus of Polish parents in Israel, but changed his name to Golan for patriotic reasons in 1948. After a stint in the then new Israeli Air Force, he worked with Roger Corman on The Young Racers in 1963. His first producing partnership with his younger cousin Yoram Globus was the same year, with El Dorado. In 1979, the two bought Cannon Group, Inc. By 1987, they had built this floundering company into one that produced 35 films. At their height, the pair owned a large string of theaters, insuring distribution for anything they produced. Their highest grossing film was Cobra, at $49M.

Perhaps a quote from Golan best sums up their approach to film making: "If you make an American film with a beginning, a middle and an end, with a budget of less than five million dollars, you must be an idiot to lose money." Despite this alleged business acumen, their studio was heavily in debt by 1989 and had to sell. Globus stayed on to work with the new owners, but Golan split off and worked on his own for a while. They would reunite again, split again, and repeat when necessary.

Whenever I see G&G listed in the opening credits, I expect a low budget, largely unknown players, and female nudity. Since I am always on a quest for female nudity, I find the world a better place with them in it. What about the quality of the films? Well, the lower rung at IMDB is full of their films, but they also produced some credible work. Golan and Globus will not be pushing anyone off of the "greatest filmmaker" lists, but they, like Roger Corman, have contributed several films worth the watch, including some pleasantly off-beat sleepers like Barfly, Murphy's Law, and Hot Resort.

The Critics Vote

no reviews online

The People Vote ...

IMDB summary. IMDb voters score it 5.6/10. The IMDb comments seem exhibit real affection for the film, but the numerical score belies that.

It grossed about $6 million in the USA.

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a C. If you like coming-of-age T&A movies, this is a solid one. Some goofy laughs, a beautiful female star, plenty of breasts, and some surprisingly agonizing reality. The ending is certainly depressing for a youthploitation film, but that's why so many people never forget this film.