The Majorettes (1986) from Tuna

The Majorettes (1986) came about because some of the Night of the Living Dead bunch were hoping to repeat their success, and John Russo had a novel called The Majorettes with a cover that everyone thought would sell a lot of video tapes. All the sex romp cheerleader films had already been made, so they figured a teen slasher film with majorettes would be just the ticket.

It had a promising, if unoriginal, first step into the world of genre exploitation. Majorettes practice in the gym with the requisite weirdo taking pictures, then hear the requisite "Ok, hit the showers" from their young, attractive coach.

Unfortunately, this resulted only in above-the-waist nudity, and only from two of the majorettes.

Even more unfortunately, it degenerated from there into a lesson from "Slasher 101" cliché class. Young couple are in a car on Lovers' Lane. She's trying to seduce him, then stops herself and admits that she is pregnant by the official "Town Miscreant." This is a clear first killing setup, and we are not disappointed. A guy in a camo suite jumps onto their convertible, sloshes the roof with a big hunting knife, drags the guy through the roof, and slits his throat. The girl takes off running. I know what you are thinking now. Either (a) she trips and gets killed, or (b) she hides behind a tree and gets killed. The correct answer is (c) all of the above. She trips, killer jumps on top of her, she wallops him over the head with a handy branch, runs forever, hides behind a tree, and the omnipresent bad guy slits her throat.

NUDITY REPORT
  • Jacqueline Bowman and Sueanne Seamens show their breasts in the shower scene.
  • (Seamens has another topless scene late in the film.)
  • Dana Mailo and Amy Mathesiuf appear topless elsewhere in the film.

DVD info from Amazon

  • The DVD has numerous special features, the transfer is very nice, and it was professionally made.

From there, the story gets strange, and involves a nurse/housekeeper who is plotting to steal a majorettes inheritance, a baptism sect, and finally a huge revenge shootout. The sub-plots are necessary because the script revealed the identity of the killer about half way through the film, the film hoped to build some suspense from other plot elements. It failed.

The Critics Vote ...

  • There are no mainstream reviews online. IMDb links to a few genre reviewers, none of whom were positive.

The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, this is a D+. Uninvolving, predictable slasher concepts, followed by offbeat plot meanderings.

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