Meet the Spartans


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This is the latest in a string of bad parodies from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seitzer, who co-wrote, co-produced and co-directed Date Movie, Epic Movie and now this one.

Those are the only three movies the two men have worked on in any capacity other than writing, and what a track record it is!

Date Movie has somehow managed to escape IMDb's worst 100 films of all time, but Epic Movie is #70 and Meet the Spartans is #58.

The critics were no more enthusiastic than the IMDb voters. The following list summarizes the percentage of positive reviews, as per Rotten Tomatoes:

  • Date Movie 6%

  • Epic Movie 2%

  • Meet the Spartans 2%

All three of them have done moderately well at the box office. Date Movie grossed $48 million. Epic Movie $39 million, Meet the Spartans $38 million.

Notice that the team's films seem to be getting worse with time, by all three criteria. Actually, I don't agree with that. I think they have improved. I think Meet the Spartans is the best of the three and Date Movie is utterly unwatchable. But I seem to have been outvoted.

You may have guessed from the title that Meet the Spartans is a parody of 300, and it stays very close to the plot outline of its target, taking only the occasional detour to skewer a pop culture icon or to drop a random reference from another film.  Part of the problem with Meet the Spartans, perhaps the entire problem, is that the writers only had a few jokes about the movie they were supposed to be ridiculing, so the film is padded out with predictable repetition (yeah, we get it, their costumes are really gay!) and overlong set pieces that go on as long and interminably as the original film's equivalents. While the original film was padded out with fight scenes, the Spartans and Persians in the parody version do very little fighting. When they finally face off, they battle in rap contests, street dancing competitions, cheerleading tournaments, and impromptu jousts of yo' momma jokes, none of which contain even a modicum of originality or entertainment value.

There are a few funny scenes here and there, mostly at the beginning. The Persian ambassador scene is spoiled by a bunch of cheap sex jokes, but I was laughing when King Leonidas kept drop kicking everyone and his brother into the pit of death, including both Britney Spears and K-Fed. I also laughed a few times at the vicious ways in which the Spartans toughened up their young, including piledriving them WWE-style and splattering them with paintballs at point-blank range. Unfortunately all of those jokes come in the first few minutes. After that it's mostly gay jokes. Yawn.


* widescreen anamorphic








2 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
9 (of 100)


2.2 IMDB summary (of 10)
C- Yahoo Movies


Box Office Mojo. It was a mini-hit, grossing $38 million in 2600 theaters, including $18 million on its opening weekend. It took the number one spot that weekend, edging out the final Rambo sequel.



  • Carmen Electra is dressed scantily throughout the film, and exposes her breasts briefly (with nipple patches).

  • Sean Maguire shows his bum.


Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


I would rate it lower, but the film's box office success indicates that it has an audience which is not insubstantial.