Mi Conejo es El Mejor

 (1982)

by Tuna

Mi Conejo Es El Mejor (which can be translated as "My Cunny is the Best," or "My Pussy is the Best") is a Spanish softcore sex film starring Lina Romay. Surprisingly, Jess Franco, Lina's long-time lover and collaborator, as well as a prolific Spanish director of similar films, had nothing to do with this one!

Although nearly 30 years old when the film was lensed, Lina is in a reform school as the story opens, and is caught lapping another student, María Eugenia Muñoz. When the guard catches them, she beats Lina with a ruler, but then cuddles the other girl, whom she is sweet on. Lina has had enough and escapes, but finds herself broke and alone in Madrid. A handsome stranger, Emilio Linder, comes to the rescue, offering her a hot bath, dinner and a warm bed. Everything seems on the up and up, and his maid, Elena Alverez, is put in charge of getting her bathed and settled into a room. Her first clue that something may be wrong is when she wakes up in the middle of the night, and finds Emilio beating then screwing the maid. After a few days in the house, Lina wants to play, too - even if it entails bondage and discipline.

When Emilio offers her to a business associate, Lina leaves, but eventually returns, and the three settle into a relationship. Then they are taken to an orgy. This doesn't seem to bother Lina, but Emilio recruits a third woman to join their happy family. Those who guessed María Eugenia Muñoz, the student from the first scene, are way ahead of me.

I greatly enjoyed this little softcore. Lina Romay was at her young prime, and demonstrated that she could act. Much of the full frontal exposure is very well lit. For the kinkier among you, there is lots of bondage and whipping, and plenty of the old favorite, the lesbian kiss. The Spanish clearly know how to make erotica. Yes, it is in Spanish with no subtitles, but I had no trouble at all following the story.

 

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Scoop's sidebar:

Conejo literally means "rabbit" in a direct modern translation, but "rabbit" and "cunny" are precisely the same thing, both in a literal linguistic sense, and in terms of the implicit sexual metaphor. For that matter, "pussy" also used to mean the same thing.

Other European languages use "mouse" and "rabbit" as sexual euphemisms and in sexual double entendres, precisely equivalent to the way English speakers use the word "pussy." But the English use of "pussy" in that sense is modern, dating back only to the 1870s. Not only that, but when it was first used it may indeed have been referring to a rabbit, not a cat! The first written use of pussy as a slang version of "cat" was in 1726, but it had been used as a term for "rabbit" even earlier. Throughout the 18th and early 19th centuries, the term "pussy" was used to refer to both animals!

In fact, the use of "pussy" to refer to rabbits continued much longer in Australia. The 1941 edition of Baker's "Dictionary of Australian Slang" explicitly defines "pussy" as "a rabbit." The use may continue in some parts of Oz to this day, although I do not know that for a fact. I never heard the term used in this way, not when I worked in Sydney, nor when I worked in Perth.

In the 16th through 18th centuries, the word "rabbit" was used in English to refer to the young of that species, as we use "puppy" today to mean a young dog. The common and ordinary term for the adult burrowing rodent in those days was "coney," which rhymed with "money" or "honey," and was often spelled "cunny" in the centuries before English orthography was standardized.  "Cunny" is therefore a direct translation for the Spanish word "conejo." They are also cognates.  Both words derive from the Latin word for a rabbit, which was "cuniculus" The Greek word is "kouneli." One linguistic theory holds that word's origins go back to pre-Roman times. That theory involves some informed speculation, but what we know for sure is that both "pussy" and "cunny" have been used as slang terms for the female genitalia, and both terms used to refer to rabbits!

 Mi Conejo Es El Mejor

It has not been available in North America on DVD. RLDVDs.com has filled the gap with an all-region DVD.

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

No reviews online

 

 

THE PEOPLE

   
n/a IMDB summary (of 10)
 

IMDb is still awaiting 5 votes. That's not surprising, since this rarity has never before been available in the US.

 

 

THE BOX OFFICE

Amazingly enough, this film sold 210,000 theatrical tickets in Spain in 1982! That's about equivalent to a theatrical gross of $15 million in the USA today, adjusting for the population difference and assuming $8 per ticket.

 

 

NUDITY REPORT

  • Lina Romay, María Eugenia Muñoz, Elena Alverez and an unknown show everything.

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Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

C+/C-

C+ for Spanish-speakers who like softcore erotica. You need this in your collection

C- for others. The appeal is more specialized if you don't speak Spanish, but Lina Romay fans will really enjoy it.