The Opening of Misty Beethoven

The Opening of Misty Beethoven (1975) was produced and directed by Radley Metzger, so it is no wonder that it is widely considered the best adult film of all time. It is an adult version of Pygmalion (or My Fair Lady, if you prefer) and is about a young girl (Misty Beethoven, played by Constance Money) who gives hand-jobs in a Paris adult theater. She is discovered by Dr. Love (Jamie Gillis), a sexologist who takes a bet that he can teach her enough to be the belle of the ball at a famous magazine publisher's annual party.

The film is actually not as explicit as I remembered, and Metzger builds a lot of erotic tension by not showing everything every time. There are times when the dialogue is brilliant, such as when the flight attendant asks, "Ok, First Class, will that be SEX or non-SEX?" Gloria Leonard also makes her film debut here as the steady girlfriend of the magazine publisher. Leonard and Gillis joined for a feature length commentary, which is worth the price of the DVD. For instance, I finally learned why Linda Lovelace did not expose her breasts in Deep Throat. She has a long scar from an accident on her stomach.

NUDITY REPORT

it is a hard-core sex film. Refer to the commentary.

Metzger is the one who named Constance Money. The two did not get along at all, and when he ask her how she wanted to be credited, she said "anything but Constance." Naturally, he named her Constance, and used Money, which is the only thing that mattered to her, as the last name.

DVD currently available from Laser's Edge.

It's a hard-core, but this is a very, very good one -- so good in fact that it premiered at the Four Seasons restaurant in New York.

The Critics Vote

It was chosen as the hardcore film of the year by every major industry source in 1975.

The People Vote ...

With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 6.2, pretty damned good for a sex film!

IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics - or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C to C+, a good hardcore, but not for mainstream audiences.