Motor Home Massacre

Motor Home Massacre (2006) from Tuna

This is a straight to video slasher movie in which seven friends make off with an aging motor home and head to the woods, where someone with night vision goggles is using a machete to play a Benihana Boogie on campers. Since there were only eight people in the cast and seven of them were the campers, I correctly guessed the killer to be the other one. The only dramatic tension was wondering who would be sliced and diced next. That game was so much fun, people kept coming back to life so they could be hacked up again.

BumsCorner.com said, "I will say, in its defense, that it's slightly better than the home movies my friends and I used to make back in junior high. But that's the only thing in the entire universe that it's better than, except maybe getting hacked to pieces by a machete-wielding psycho. Maybe."

Agreed. It is not that I am against 80s-style slasher films, but this one needed to show at least seven more breasts, and should have had at least one swimming or shower scene to meet the minimum genre requirements. More important, it needed sympathetic characters to engage and sustain audience interest. Not one of the characters has any appeal. They are either obnoxious (a white gangsta and an alpha male asshole), or whiny wimps. Even the main premise, that these seven were friends, was hard to accept, because none of them seemed to like each other. Of course, that may have been an impression created by the universally poor acting.

The film also has technical negatives. Most of the photography is entirely too dark and grainy, and the sound is bad enough that a lot of the dialogue is hard to hear.

Now that I think about it, the fact that you can't see or hear the film is probably a positive rather than a negative.

DVD INFO

Widescreen

NUDITY REPORT

Breasts from Diane Picallo and Nicole Crisp

The Critics Vote ...

No major reviews online

The People Vote ...

IMDB summary. IMDb has this at 6.2. {Cough} Clearly, the cast voted, as there are 7 tens. Once my vote is counted, there will also be 7 ones.

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

Our own guideline:

A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre.
B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. In order to rate at least a B-, a film should be both a critical and commercial success. Exceptions: (1) We will occasionally rate a film B- with good popular acceptance and bad reviews, if we believe the critics have severely underrated a film. (2) We may also assign a B- or better to a well-reviewed film which did not do well at the box office if we feel that the fault lay in the marketing of the film, and that the film might have been a hit if people had known about it. (Like, for example, The Waterdance.)
C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by people who enjoy this kind of movie. If this is your kind of movie, a C+ and an A are indistinguishable to you.
C means it is competent, but uninspired genre fare. People who like this kind of movie will think it satisfactory. Others probably will not.
C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie, but genre addicts find it watchable. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film, but films with this rating should be approached with caution by mainstream audiences, who may find them incompetent or repulsive or both. If this is NOT your kind of movie, a C- and an E are indistinguishable to you.
D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-. Films rated below C- generally have both bad reviews and poor popular acceptance.
E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre.
F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this is an F.