A Night to Dismember (1983) from Tuna
A Night to Dismember (1983) is a cult horror film from the legendary exploitation giant, Doris Wishman. The film is so incredibly bad that I was going to invent a review to do it justice, then I listened to part of the commentary done by Doris herself. The real story is far more bizarre than anything I could have invented. 

NUDITY REPORT
Samantha Fox shows a breast briefly as a detective peeps through her window. An unknown actress has a lengthy nude bath scene at the beginning of the film.

DVD info from Amazon.

  • Widescreen anamorphic, 1.78:1

  • Full-length director and DP commentary
As was her wont, Doris finished shooting, then cut the trailer. Someone bought US distribution from her, which gave her enough cash to finish the film. Unfortunately, the vault where the film was stored went bankrupt, and a disgruntled employee destroyed a bunch of the negatives stored there, including over 60% of A Night to Dismember. 

Since she had already sold distribution, she had to do something. She took the remaining footage, added every frame of out-takes she had, pieced together a new plot based on the footage she had, assembled the film, then added voice-over and minimal dialogue to create a semi-coherent story. Basically, a girl is accused of a double murder, spend years in an insane asylum, then is released. Her sister resents not being the center of attention, and conspires with her brother to get her sent back. The girl is played by porn star Samantha Fox, in her only non-adult role.  

The Critics Vote

  • no major reviews

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDB has it at 4.7 of 10, but I would expect that to drop as more people see it 
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is an F. The only reason to see this DVD is the commentary by Doris herself. 

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