of Line (2000)
from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
|This is a tedious
non-theatrical Jennifer Beals film about a tough female parole officer
who falls for one of her parolees. This movie doesn't just suck. It
sucks through a flavor straw, then throws out the flavor straw and
sucks through one of those twisted pretzel-like straws that little
kids like. It sucks harder than a guy trying to get the poison out of
a snake bite.
||(1) Turns out the con seduced her as
part of a complicated mob scheme. All of his seduction schemes were
totally transparent, and she fell for them, although she was supposed
to be smart. I did love when he kept showing up at the opera after he
found out she was an opera buff. "Hey, I love it when dat clown
was cryin". It was obvious that this guy's cultural interests
were bogus, and that he thought that the catcher in the rye was
Campy's back-up for the Dodgers, but she completely bought it.
But it further turns out that he really did fall in love with her,
gosh darn it.
Cheapozoid grade-b melodrama all the
way, with uninteresting and unrealistic characterizations. Weak film,
- With their
votes ... IMDB summary.
Not enough votes to produce a rating, but currently rated
a perfect 1.0 out of 10 (lowest possible) by one man, and
a perfect 10.0 our of 10 (highest possible) by one woman,
setting an unbreakable record for chick-flickatude
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.
Based on this
description, this film is a Z. OK, maybe it is an E. No reaon to
watch it, that I can come up with.
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