Piranha 3D


by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

"Honk if you love tits and gore"

-- Empire magazine --

It's Spring Break on a beautiful lake in Arizona, but a recent seismic eruption has opened a fissure between the surface lake and another lake beneath it. The lower lake is filled with ancient creatures thought extinct for millions of years, predecessors to the modern ... well, I guess you know that from the title.

Drunken, undressed college kids and vicious primitive carnivores! What better combination is there?  And now it's in 3D.

Jerry O'Connell is funny in a parody of Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild entrepreneur and Gawker's choice as douchebag of the decade. Elisabeth Shue takes the plot seriously as the sheriff. Ving Rhames uses an outboard motor to kick some Piranha ass, or gill, or something. Kelly Brook and Riley Steele do a naked underwater ballet. College kids get sliced and diced en masse. Christopher Lloyd plays a sort of eccentric professor. Richard Dreyfuss needs a bigger boat.

Well, by God, if ya gotta do something, do it right.

Piranha is exactly what a genre film ought to be. It neither cuts corners nor pulls punches on the violence and nudity and humor. It's very silly when it tries to be, and very intense when it wants to be. Given the existence of Troma, I don't know how many campy ultra-gore movies we need, but if you would like one movie this year in which all the human flesh is either fully exposed or ripped from human bones, I reckon this is it.


  • Kelly Brook and Riley Steele are stark naked underwater.

  • Gianna Michaels - breasts

  • Nancy Walters - breasts

  • There are also some random topless college girls

DVD Blu-Ray


75 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
53 Metacritic.com (of 100)


7.1 IMDB summary (of 10)
B Yahoo Movies


Box Office Mojo. Budget: $24 million. Opening weekend: $10 million on 2400 theaters (6th place)


If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:


It is top-notch genre fare.