Psychos in Love (1987) from Tuna

A strip club owner and a manicurist meet and fall in love. They are united by a passionate hatred of grapes and grape products, and the fact that they are both practicing psychopathic serial killers. He kills women if they like grapes, then cuts them up in little pieces and plays with the pieces. She kills men who like grapes or talk about the weather, then dumps their bodies on the New Jersey turnpike. Both have been at it since High School.

The film explores their tender romance.

After they settle in together, they find some of the joy gone from their slashings, and she is somewhat jealous of the fact that he ogles the exposed tits of most of his victims. There is something of a problem when another serial killer, a cannibal plumber, discovers their secret and wants them to continue killing and give him the body parts.  In case you have some trouble following this minimal plot or my description, there is a catchy theme song that provides an excellent plot review.

You walked into my life one night,

at first I thought you’d be like all the rest.

Boring to talk to, and boring in bed,

in general an all-around pest.

I was all set to cut you into little bitty-bits,

chop you, dice you, slash you, slice you,

Drill you with drill-bits.

You turned my life around with your beauty and scent,

and all I did was kiss you once and it was straight to heaven I went,

Said, all I did was kiss you once and it was straight to heaven I went.

 

Cuz I’m a psycho in love, I can’t help myself,

Psycho in love, I’m a psycho in love,

Never felt this way about anyone else,

I’m a psycho, psycho in love.

 

You’d be just another victim so,

when you asked me out I said sure.

My motto has always been: "An ounce

of prevention is worth a manicure."

I thought you’d end up being just some other guy,

I was set to stick my scissors right into your eye.

You proved to me that life could be fun without the blood,

I love you even though you’re pudgy and you look like Elmer Fudd.

I love you even though you’re pudgy and you look like Elmer Fudd.

 

Cuz I’m a psycho in love, I can’t help myself,

Psycho in love, I’m a psycho in love,

Never felt this way about anyone else,

I’m a psycho, psycho in love.

 

Grapes, we hate ‘em! Grapes, we hate ‘em!

Purple and green.

 

Grapes, we hate ‘em! Grapes, we hate ‘em!

With or without seeds.

 

I never thought I could be so content,

I really kinda glad to know you, Kate.

 

Y’know it’s all my pleasure, Joe my dear,

I guess that you can call it fate.

 

I’m sure I’ll kill more girls, be faithful to you.

 

And I will slice up many a man.

 

We love each other so, we’re just so dog-gone happy,

 

We’re sick, we’re crazy, we’re lunatics,

Not fit for society.

 

Yes, we’re sick, we’re crazy, we’re lunatics,

Not fit for society.

 

Cuz we are psychos in love, we can’t help ourselves,

Psychos in love, we are psychos in love.

Never felt this way about anyone else,

We are psychos, psychos in love.

 

Cuz we are psychos in love, we can’t help ourselves,

Psychos in love, we are psychos in love.

Never felt this way about anyone else,

We are psychos, psychos in love.

 (Download the song here)

Some of the dialogue is inspired and laugh out loud funny. The further into the running time, the more the third wall is violated.

Psychos In Love is bad movie heaven!