Radical Jack (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

A ruthless and criminal rich man completely dominates everyone in a small town. The owner of a local drinking establishment hires a tough guy from out of town to help him run his bar. The ruthless guy's son and the tough newcomer butt heads, because they love the same gal. Mayhem ensues.

Am I talking about Road House? Nope. I'm talkin' 'bout Radical Jack, which is a grade-z Road House without any of the personality. Road House has some quirky elements which make it fascinating. The evil land baron sings and has a house full of stuffed animals from every known species. Swayze has his crazy martial arts discipline, and his degree in philosophy and says stuff like "pain don't hurt". 

NUDITY REPORT

There is no nudity in the version available at Blockbuster, but there is another version floating around in which Orly Tepper shows her breasts

All that over-the-top imagination is missing here. 

In lieu of Swayze, we have Billy Ray Cyrus as a good old boy tattooed cyclist. Oh, my achy-breaky heart. Did I mention that he's also some kind of undercover agent sent to this small town to uncover the rich guy's arms dealing? That's no secret. We find that out during the opening credits, although the movie would have been more interesting if we had discovered that along with the bad guys. 

It's bad, but not fun bad. It's the kind of bad where it would be better if it were rewritten by your uncle, Dwight the plumber. The acting would be better if it starred the guy who played the accordion at your sister's wedding reception.

It's about equivalent in depth and subtlety to a WWF pay-per-view, except the WWF has more realistic violence.

And better acting.

And more humor.

If you plan to write Road House Three, here's my suggestion. Have the good guy get the crap kicked out of him by the bad guy in a fair fight, one-on-one, just because that's the way things sometimes happen.

Except in the WWF.
  Bare bones

NO widescreen
My favorite scene: Billy Ray is snuck out of the hospital by his gal because she fears that the evil guy will come after him and kill him in his bed. He can't walk at all, having just received a savage beating by 12 guys. So what does his gal do? She gets him in bed, he's moanin' and groanin' in agony. She strips off her clothes and climbs on top of him for sex. I didn't make that up.

 Billy Ray did turn her down, but not for physical reasons.

He was still mourning for his late wife. 

In the South they have to wait for sex at least three days after a wife is killed by a bad guy. It's an Old Dixie Code of Honor thing. 

The Critics Vote

  • Critical consensus: if a critic were to review this, he'd have to admit he saw it. Not likely

 

The People Vote ...

  • with their dollars .. be serious. Nobody would pay to see this, would they? If your cable company showed it, you'd demand a pro-rata refund
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a D. 

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