Red Riding Hood (2003) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Now here's a perfectly plausible premise. A twelve year old American girl is abandoned in Rome, left only with a crust of bread, a magnificent apartment, and credit cards without spending limits. How can she endure the harshness of her existence? She turns to people-watching. As she observes more and more people, she sees more and more sins - shoplifting, infidelity, you name it. She realizes that the police can do nothing about these activities, so she herself is determined to be the angel of vengeance.

Of course, all angels of vengeance need a theme, so hers is "little red riding hood", and she has an imaginary friend who looks like a really high-tech "big bad wolf." Either she or the author seem to be a bit confused about what a "red riding hood" is, because she actually wears a black hood, but I guess it's OK, because she wears red boots. Together the girl and the imaginary wolf travel through Rome with a box of power tools, bringing shoplifters and other petty criminals to the grisly deaths they so justly deserve.

... until Red Riding Hood's grandma shows up to spoil all the fun. Get it? Riding Hood likes the wolf, hates the grandma. Oh, that's good stuff.

Anyway, Red overcomes the meddling grandma obstacle in a direct manner - by carving up granny with some of her power tools.

Then another guy shows up to spoil her fun. This is a man who sees that she's insane and tries to change her. Although he's a good samaritan, he's the world's stupidest samaritan and tries to trick Red by dressing up as her imaginary friend. I've tried this plan many times myself, and have found that it has a critical flaw: I don't know exactly what other people's imaginary friends look like! Drat the luck! Despite that obvious shortcoming in his scheme, he almost manages to pull it off - he puts on a disguise and looks exactly like the imaginary friend. Luckily for the film's exposition, he is such a perfect match that the audience can't tell the difference!

Red, however, has no trouble telling them apart, and carves the imposter up with power tools.

A woman named Antonella Salvucci showed up just long enough to take a shower. If you know how slasher films work you'll realize that this isn't good for her continued health. In these films, cleanliness is next to godliness, at least in the sense that those who take a shower will soon be next to God. Salvucci was, therefore, in the film long enough to got scrubbed up on camera. and then ...

Well, do I need to mention the power tools? This thing should have been sponsored by Sears. What an opportunity for a product placement that could have given Craftsman some exposure in Europe! Assuming, of course, that anyone ever saw the movie.

Anyway, I sort of lost interest at that point. I think maybe Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi got directly involved in the escalating violence in the Roman streets, and was just about to solve it when he was mysteriously cut up by power tools.

Hmmm. I wonder who did it?