Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna

Well, wouldn't you know it? When the two principals from the original Blue Lagoon movie died at sea in a tiny boat, two things happened to their male offspring.


Although Milla Jovovich performs most of her topless scenes with her hair or flowers discreetly covering her, there are a few fleeting looks at her breasts.

1. Although adrift in uncharted waters in the Pacific, the parent's tiny makeshift boat was spotted in time to save the lad, even though he was a toddler and his parents were already dead.

2. The woman who raised the boy with her own daughter was herself shipwrecked on a deserted island with both kids. It was the same island that the original couple lived on.

Hey, it's a small ocean.

From there, it proceeds pretty much as you would expect. The final cut of this film seems to be missing footage. At one point, the boy wanders to another part of the island and finds some natives who seem like pretty unsavory characters. Those natives eventually visit them - once. Then that plot thread is dropped completely.

DVD info from Amazon.

  • no widescreen

  • no features

Remember also that the boy and his parents have lived on this same island for two decades without noticing any neighbors!

The mother dies. A ship shows up, and the young couple, now in their mid-teens, contemplate whether to go to civilization or to stay in the innocence of their island.

Tuna's comments in yellow:

Return to the Blue Lagoon (1991) is the same story, on the same island, with the same number of people as the original Blue Lagoon. Hey, when the formula works, do it again. There are several differences. In the first, the kids were stranded with a salty old sailor, who didn't teach them many things kids should know. In the return, they are stranded with a proper Christian woman, who teaches them morals, spelling, and even the facts of life. The two kids, alone after her death, still discover their own bodies, then marry, but, in this case, they are not related, so there is no incest. The romance in this one ends happily, whereas the original ended as a tragic love story.

The photography is wonderful, and the performances have some ring of truth in parts, but the film mainly succeeds as eye candy, if at all. Still, I would pay to see it a third time if they made an adult rated version, because the innocent discovery of sexuality is a theme I enjoy. The film appeals most to adolescent girls. I didn't mind watching, which makes me unique in my demographic group. The script is the real problem, followed closely by way to many coincidences, but it is well made and decently acted. I will give it a D+.

The Critics Vote

  • Consensus: one star. Roger Ebert 1.5/4, 1/5

The People Vote ...

  • IMDB summary. IMDb voters score it 4.1/10. It is rated 7.5 by kids under 18, buoyed by an 8.5 from the girls, but it earned deplorable scores from all adult demographic groups
  • with their dollars: although it grossed only $3 million in the USA,  I can't believe those people didn't demand a refund. If it had been rated R, it might have had a chance at a zero, since its only audience was teen girls.
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, Scoopy says "E. Almost completely unwatchable. Terrible movie, but some nice nature photography." Tuna votes it a D+.

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