Sex and the City

 (2008)

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Sex and the City, the wrap-up of the HBO series of the same name, is basically a Bizarro world version of a Kevin Costner sports movie.

Bear with me. Here's how to re-write the Costner sports formula to make it work for women.

Costner formula

 

Bizarro version

 

A pure entertainment movie in which a bunch of superficial guys women
talk about nothing but sex and sports shopping
while they drink beer wine
and scotch. cosmos
They struggle through some ups and downs, but eventually come through at the end to win the big game. resolve their relationship problems

End of story.

Of course, that doesn't mean you will enjoy this film if you like Costner movies, because Bizarro is not Superman. Nor does it mean you will hate the Bizarro version if you like the regular version. It's possible that you may not cringe if a woman drags you to this movie, but the whole project was quite clearly created as "event programming" for people who don't normally get their own movie events: women and gay guys.

As of this writing, Sex and the City has displaced Dirty Dancing as the Queen of the chick-flicks. If you have been reading our analyses in the past, you probably know that we measure a film's vaginocentricity by a simple formula.

E = IMDbf - IMDbm

Where:

E represents the estrogen level.

IMDbf represents the IMDb rating from female voters.

IMDbm represents the IMDb rating from male voters.

We consider any film which scores more than 1.0 a chick-flick. Dirty Dancing held the previous record for a major film, having scored 1.9 on this scale. The enormity of that can be comprehended only after you realize that Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Steel Magnolias only score 1.2 and Beaches only 1.3. The Dirty Dancing score of 1.9 represents enough estrogen to single-handedly replace every dot over every "i" in the universe with a little heart.

Sex and the City scores 2.4

That's not a typo, but it is absolutely off the scale. How far above the scale? Well, the smartest person who ever lived probably had an IQ of something like 225. Imagine somebody suddenly appearing with an IQ of 400. That kind of quantum leap represents how much more estrogen is in this film than in Dirty Dancing. Compared to this film, Dirty Dancing seems like the Dirty Dozen. Men score SATC 4.8 at IMDb, while women score it 7.2.

There is an important piece of analysis that you guys need to take away from those scores. Guys normally use chick-flicks to get laid. Admit it, guys, you put up with Amelie or The Notebook for two hours just because movies like that get her into a romantic mood, right? Well it won't work with this movie. Consider how bad a 4.8 movie is. That's like a straight-to-vid starring Michael Par and Corbin Bernsen about a vampire who's also a maverick cop. That's how you, Mr. Male, are likely to view this film, and it will be difficult to camouflage your feelings. On the other hand, a 7.2 film is close to an all-time great. That's how your date will view this film. As you leave the theater you are probably going to argue about the merits of this film, and the vibe created by that will undermine the foreplay value of the film itself.

Since you can't use the film to get laid, and you are not likely to enjoy it, I strongly suggest letting the women have their "girls' night out" on this one, including drinks afterwards. The film ends with a positive view of the husbands and/or boyfriends of all four women, so it does not preach any anti-male message. Given that fact and the additional fact that it features a happy, uplifting, romantic ending, there is a very good chance that your significant other will come home tipsy from her hen party and molest you.

And if not, well, at least you got to eat some nachos, drink some beer, and watch Tin Cup on the plasma without having to listen to any crap.

DVD INFO

* not yet available

 

 

 

 

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

2 Roger Ebert (of 4 stars)
51 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
53 Metacritic.com (of 100)

THE PEOPLE

   
5.4 IMDB summary (of 10)
   

THE BOX OFFICE

Box Office Mojo. It was one of the most successful chick-flicks of all time. It grossed $150 million in the USA and another $220 million elsewhere.

The opening day was a real phenomenon, 26th best of all time, the highest ever for a female-oriented film without the words Harry Potter in the title.

It opened in the #1 spot with a $57 million weekend, beating Indiana Jones, despite being in 1,000 fewer theaters.

NUDITY REPORT

LOTS!

Male:

  • David Eigenberg- butt
  • Gilles Marini - butt and penis

Female:

  • Kim Cattrall - naked, but all the strategic parts are covered with sushi.
  • Erica Evans and Roxy de Ville topless in a threesome.
  • Cynthia Nixon - a real topless scene!
  • Kristin Davis - shower scene, but edited so that nothing is really visible.
  • Monica Mayhem - topless
  • Michelle Kim - topless

Google
 
Web www.scoopy.com

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

C+

It is top-notch genre fare, but appreciation if it requires a minimum of one vagina. It was created for an extremely specific target audience - the fans of the TV series.