Shattered Image


by Tuna

Shattered Image is a made-for-cable thriller staring Bo Derek. If that isn't enough to put you off, you might consider that Bo's acting was the best thing about the film!

Bo plays an ex-model who's married to a rich garment designer, but not getting along with him. He is kidnapped. The kidnappers demonstrate their seriousness of purpose by sending Bo his pinky finger.

Then we are let in on a secret. Hubby's brother/partner and Bo planned the kidnapping from the start.

The FBI agent in charge (Jack Scalia) then discovers that hubby had embezzled $10M from his company and was to be arrested the day next day after he was kidnapped. But that makes it sounds like the husband arranged his own disappearance. Was he somehow in cahoots with his wife and brother? The plot thickens when the kidnapped husband dies in the FBI raid on the kidnappers' lair.  With the husband and the kidnappers all dead, the FBI wants to close the case, but our man Scalia lost his partner in the raid, and he needs to stay on it for his partner's memory.

Confused? You're not the only one.  There are several twists and turns before this one is over, and you might want to keep a scorecard as it goes along. Write in pencil, and have a big eraser handy.

The point of watching the film is to see Bo Derek naked. Honestly, I like looking at Bo naked as much as the next guy, but a little acting could have gone a long way toward making this more watchable.

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

This film has too many plot contrivances,  to the point where one cannot, having seen the entire film, think back upon the details and correctly imagine which of the baddies must have been responsible for which of the various schemes and double-crosses, and who was really in league with whom at any given point. The problem with this kind of puzzle is that all the pieces have to fit together at the end, and I'm simply not convinced that the plot twists en route can still hold up once all the secrets have been revealed in this film.

Neither that nor the poor acting is the film's biggest problem, however. The big flaw is that the complex and confusing plot fills up all the running time, and some of it would have been better served by some original and/or detailed characterization and background for the cardboard characters. The only attempt the film made at any characterization was to employ the oldest third down play in the cop film playbook - the maverick cop who does things his own way and is always at odds with his straighter-laced but less effective superior officer. Since Scalia works for the buttoned-up FBI, the only maverick behavior he can get away with is  ... are you ready for this? ... not wearing a tie.

That fucking hippie!

With or without that element, the characters in this film are simply there to take up space until the next big switcheroo.

My gut tells me that our C- rating may be high, The film is ordinary, bland, and clichéd. On the other hand, "ordinary" does not equate to "awful" and the film is not entirely without appeal, so I guess I have to second Tuna's verdict of a "weak C-" because the film has two plusses: (1) I got involved trying to out-guess the confusing twists and turns; and (2) it's always pleasant to see a beautiful and famous woman naked, and Bo Derek is both very famous and very beautiful.

I guess those two elements mean that the film meets the very minimum standard for a watchable erotic thriller for those already predisposed to enjoy the genre.



* no widescreen

* no meaningful features

* Amazon hilariously lists the star as "Bob" Derek





No reviews online


4.8 IMDB summary (of 10)


It was made for cable TV.


  • Bo Derek shows breasts and buns in a dark sex scene, a breast in a hot tub, and pokies the rest of the time.


Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a low


and that gives it the benefit of the doubt. If erotic thrillers and Swedish penis pumps are not your bag, baby, this will not be the one to win you over.