Someone Like You (2001) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) |
Also known as "Animal Attraction", this is a romantic comedy that suffers somewhat from being neither romantic nor funny. Oh, yeah, it isn't sexy either. It's not an awful movie, just ordinary. It is kinda "cute", and is about equivalent to a good episode of a sitcom. It does feature three beautiful stars who are among the best at performing this kind of material. |
Ashley
Judd plays the part of a talent booker for an abrasive Springer-like
TV talk show. She falls in love with sexy co-worker Greg Kinnear, and
they seem to have a perfect sitcom romance. She tells all her friends
he is the perfect guy.
He then proceeds to dump her for no good reason. Her anger and curiosity lead her to make a scientific study of male mating behavior, and that leads to a new career as a sexual behavior guru, when she publishes her thoughts under a pseudonymous role as a clone of Dr Ruth. |
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The broken relationship also placed her in an unfortunate living situation. She was planning to move in with Kinnear, and got rid of her old apartment. When Kinnear walked, she found her self homeless as well as relationless. This forced her into moving in (on a Platonic basis) with her sexist male co-worker (Wolverine). | |||||
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That cloud had a
silver lining. Wolverine, with his sexual turnstile bedroom, was the
perfect subject for her study of the "old cow, new cow
theory", which was the essence of her philosophy as a sexual
guru.
"Old cow, new cow" can be summed up as follows: place a new cow in the pen, bull will mount her. Bring her back tomorrow, bull will not mount her. Bring her around the next day with her smell disguised, bull will still not mount her. Bring around a new cow, bull will mount her. Men behave like bulls. Oh, yeah, so what do you think will happen between Judd and Wolverine? He ends up tearing her apart with his retractable claws. Whew, what a bloody mess. No just kidding. Unfortunately, the best they could come up with was the really happy, contrived, running-in-the-street-after-his-cab-followed-by-kiss, Hollywood ending. Somehow they forget to end it with the two lovers inside a heart with cupid's arrow through it. |
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