Thief of Hearts (1984) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Thief of Hearts (1984) stars Steven Bauer, who, together with partner David Caruso, specializes in burglarizing homes of the rich, and is very good at what he does. When he hits the home of Barbara Williams, he gets more than he bargained for, as a locked chest contained her personal journals, in which she wrote every intimate detail of her life, as well as her secret fantasies. Bauer decides that he will steal her from her husband, and armed with his knowledge of her, nearly does. All of the principles have pronounced New York accents, but the film is set in San Francisco.

Although the concept was interesting, the story didn't hit any high notes, or cover any new ground, and the ending seemed off to me.

This was Douglas Day Stewart's first script after An Officer and a Gentleman. The reviews were poor, and it was essentially his last script. It was the first film he ever directed, but the disappointing performance meant that he would not get another chance for many years. Although this film
is rated only 5.0 at IMDb, he never bettered that score in subsequent films.

It isn't such a bad film. While it doesn't really click, as Tuna noted, it has some real strengths:

• Excellent photography of San Francisco, including some very creative and cinematic camera angles. (The cinematographer worked with many of Hollywood's top directors).
• A very solid concept. A thief robs a prosperous couple. Included in the booty are a stunning professional photo of her and her horny diaries. More than enough to get him interested. Enough to get him laid. After all, he knows exactly what she wants, and acts out her fantasies.
• Good comic relief by George Wendt
• A really offbeat and enjoyable performance by David Caruso as the psychotic baddie.
• A complex portrayal of the thief of hearts, a man who is not as good as he would like to be, but not as bad as people might think.

They didn't do much with the concept. He should have used his knowledge to make the sex really hot. Although the seduction scene was excellent (Bauer undresses her while she is learning to shoot), the sex scene is tired and uninspiring, and not even very revealing. Tuna noted above that it also had technical problems.

I often whine when a script simply has too many improbable surprises. This time, there were too few. Everything plays out exactly as you expect it to from the moment that you first understand the premise.