Unfaithfully Yours (1984) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski) and Tuna

Scoop's notes


It's time once again to test your knowledge of Hollywood formulas. Sharpen up those #2 pencils, and be sure to blacken the entire box beside the correct answers.

1) Unfaithfully Yours stars Dudley Moore as a composer/conductor. The script will mine this rich vein to:

a. Reveal the deep layers of humor within the world of classical music.

b. Give Dudley Moore a chance to act drunk.

2) In the course of the film, Dudley Moore will find himself:

a. Struggling with the mysteries of life, especially his ubiquitous sense of mortality.

b. Making a fool of himself because he's in love with a younger, taller, soberer woman.

 3) Dudley speaks no Italian. He tells his Italian butler/chef to keep an eye on his young wife (Nastassia Kinski). The butler:

a. Bravely sacrifices one of his own legs to rescue Kinski from some street thugs.

b. Misunderstands Dudley and hires a private eye to follow Kinski.

4) Kinski is completely in love with Dudley, and is not cheating on him, but the private eye finds ...

a. A link between Iran and the Contras

b. A preposterous coincidence that makes it seem as if Kinski is cheating with Dudley's womanizing best friend (Armand Assante)

5) Confronted with his wife's seeming infidelity, Dudley ...

a. Maturely confronts her with what he knows, whereupon she clears up the misunderstanding and forgives him for doubting her.

b. Goes to his friend's house, where - by another preposterous coincidence - he finds an unusual broach exactly like one his wife owns.

c. Acts really drunk

d. Both b and c

6) When Dudley finds the apparent proof that his friend is fucking his wife, Dudley and Assante

a) Fight a duel in which they both die tragically, thus leaving the beautiful young wife free to marry the simple, heroic, peg-legged chef who saved her life.

b) Have a conversation in which Assante is talking about some other woman in a lusty and cavalier manner, but Dudley assumes that the women being discussed is his wife.

c) Both get really drunk.

d) Both b and c.

7) Dudley gets so frustrated by the situation that he

a) Divorces Kinski, immerses himself in his work, and creates a symphony more powerful than Beethoven's 9th.

b) Fantasizes about killing Kinski and framing Assante for the murder.

c) Gets really drunk

d) Both b and c.

8) As the actual murder is unfolding, Dudley

a) Succeeds, condemning Assante to the electric chair

b) Moves too slowly and clumsily because he is really drunk. He is stopped at the last minute when, through a preposterous coincidence, the private detective uncovers some missing evidence and, through another preposterous coincidence, is able to tell Dudley about the new facts just in time to prevent mayhem.

9) When the mix-up is revealed, Dudley

a) Can not bear his shame, and moves to a monastery, where his inner torment and deep contrition produce some of the greatest Gregorian chant ever written.

b) Begs for forgiveness, but is initially too drunk to express himself well. After some cartoony stumbling and slurring, however, he manages to get forgiven.


Analysis of your answers:

If you answered any a's at all, you are reading the wrong page. You are looking for The Family Circus online. If you answered a to question six, you have seen too many Vittorio DeSica movies.

With a gender reversal, this desperate-for-a-laugh film might make a good thirty minute episode of I Love Lucy.

  • Kinski = Ricky
  • Dudley = Lucy
  • Assante = guest star Ava Gardner. Lucy thinks Ricky is in love with her.
  • Albert Brooks and Cassie Yates = Fred and Ethel Mertz

OK, maybe not a GOOD episode.

In a way you have to respect a movie which not only features Dudley Moore acting drunk, but also Armand Assante impersonating a drunken Dudley Moore. It is a shame that Dudley died before CGI became so sophisticated, because I would like to see a movie in which a drunken Dudley Moore plays every character, except for a cameo by Foster Brooks. Unfortunately, the presence of a Double Dud did not confer any entertainment value upon this particular movie. Unfaithfully Yours is just about unwatchable except for some funny Fred Mertz work from Albert Brooks. As much as I like Albert, his inestimable comic presence in a small role is nowhere near enough to salvage this wreck, which manages to clear even the Olympic-class hurdle for lameness normally set by Dudley Moore. In fact, you'll find a picture of Dudley when you look up "lame" in the dictionary.

It is impossible to explain to a younger generation why we oldsters used to think Dudley Moore was funny. I can remember thinking he was kinda OK, but I can't remember why. I guess he was just part of the zeitgeist; "in the moment." That moment has certainly passed, and it is embarrassing to think that I used to laugh at this guy, so don't ask me to explain it. Please extend the courtesy of some understanding, knowing that some day you'll have to explain David Spade to your own grandchildren.



  • No features except the original theatrical trailer
  • There are two versions of the film, one on each side of the disc: one is widescreen anamorphic (16x9), and the other full screen, which is the full 35 mm frame, not a pan 'n scan. In theory, that is the prefect combination of transfers, but both of them are grainy.



Nastassja Kinski is seen removing her blouse as she heads to the bathroom to shower. While actually showering, she is seen topless, but the nudity is offered through steam and frosted glass. After the shower, her breasts (sans nipples) are seen in an aborted attempt at lovemaking. When she runs back to the bathroom, she briefly exposes the top of her bum and the side of one breast.

Tuna's notes

In the unlikely event that you just have to know more than Scoop told you about this film, Li'l Dudley plays a famous symphony conductor married to the much younger Nastassja Kinski. Through a comedy of errors, he comes to believe she is cheating on him with his best friend. Kinski plays a beautiful actress, and it's hard to believe that she would be interested in the much shorter and older Moore in the first place, so it's easy for the audience to believe she really is cheating on him. She's not, but it's also easy to believe that he would fear that. What isn't too believable is that he sets about killing her and her supposed lover in normal, inept drunken Dudley mode.

Kinski looks wonderful, the supporting cast is fine, and the film looks grand. The only problem is Dudley Moore's same-old signature character, the loveable drunk. For my money the Arthur films and 10 represent the Golden Age of drunken Dudley Moore cinema, so this is an inferior drunken Dudley film. When you add that to the fact that drunken Dudley films are near the bottom of the cinema food chain to begin with, you should probably not be anticipating a life-changing experience.

The Critics Vote ...

The People Vote ...

  • By the numbers reports that the film was released on February 10, 1984 and grossed $19 million.
The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. (C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by genre fans, while C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie although genre addicts find it watchable). D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.

Based on this description, both reviewers score it a C-. Scoop explains, "That's a score which means that I hate predictable and irritating pablum which recycles old I Love Lucy plots, but that some people may find it charming to see Dudley Moore play Lucy Ricardo as a drunken male."

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