Wanted

 (2008)

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Wanted is a fantasy film about a brotherhood of assassins with super powers. It begins with a contrived and complex assassination battle happening in high rise buildings between two men who do not seem to be bound by the laws of physics.

Meanwhile, across town in what seems like another movie, Office Space 2 to be precise, James McAvoy plays a wimpy cubicle drone who narrates about his loathing for his boss, his TPS reports, his medical problems, his disloyal best friend, his irritating girlfriend, the rituals in his office, and his fellow employees.

Imagine his surprise when wussy-boy is suddenly recruited to join the fraternity of cold-blooded super-killers who know that he, too, possesses super powers. It seems that all the medical problems which he has been dealing with are not problems at all, but mistakenly diognosed mutant powers. Instead of taking medication to stop his heart from racing, he just needs to let it run free, at which time he speeds up so much that the rest of the world seems to be moving in ultra slo-mo, thus allowing him to perform uncanny and seemingly impossible feats. He is skeptical of this explanation until agents of the brotherhood show him that if he lets his pulse run wild he can shoot the wings off of flies. Later he learns to curve bullets, and even to use his bullets to shoot the bullets of other assassins.

Blah-blah-blah ... rogue agent killed McAvoy's father ... McAvoy is the only one powerful enough to stop the rogue ... he's "the one" ... but he must be trained ... blah-blah-blah.

None of this is really supposed to make sense. The members of the brotherhood take their orders from a loom, and have done so since the middle ages. Who is it that originates the assassination requests through the magic loom? God? Satan? No, it's apparently "fate." Whatever that is supposed to mean. It seems to me if "fate" wanted someone dead, it could probably pull it off without the assistance of intermediaries who can read encoded underpants. That's only the beginning of the silliness. The assassins' abilities make little sense and vary from scene to scene. The assassins always pick the most illogical and difficult means to eliminate their targets, and innocent bystanders are not spared. In fact, thousands of innocents seem to get killed in the course of this film, including every passenger on a train which plummets into a canyon as a result of the battle between McAvoy and the rogue agent. Nobody ever mentions civilian casualties. Nobody on either side of the brotherhood's civil war cares about bystanders one way or the other. They are as unimportant as furniture.

Now set all that aside, because this film is actually a lot of fun if you can suspend all sense of disbelief. It's a twisted, tongue-in-cheek version of The Matrix, all cool attitude and comic book antics. McAvoy is basically Neo. Angelina Jolie is Trinity. Morgan Freeman is Morpheus. The bad guy isn't really like Agent Smith, but he has something very important in common with Darth Vader. You'll recognize it when you encounter it. So forget the laws of the physical universe. Forget the inconsistencies in the powers of the antagonists. Forget the illogic of the plot. Forget the pseudo-mystical mumbo-jumbo. It's not meant to be taken seriously. Just sit back and let it wash over you. It's a stylish film with visual flair and a lot of humor. It entertains.

DVD INFO

* not yet available

 

 

 

 

 

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

3 Roger Ebert (of 4 stars)
72 Rotten Tomatoes  (% positive)
64 Metacritic.com (of 100)

THE PEOPLE

   
7.4 IMDB summary (of 10)
B+ Yahoo Movies

THE BOX OFFICE

Box Office Mojo. A hit! As I write this it has grossed $128 million in the USA and is still playing in some theaters.

 

NUDITY REPORT

  • An actor named Chris Pratt shows his butt in a minor role as McAvoy's shallow best friend in his pre-assassin life.
  • Angelina Jolie does full rear nudity from a distance, and shows the top half of her butt in close-up.

 

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Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

C or C+