Whipped (1999) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Take "Diner" and bring the frankness of the discussions up to the new milennium. Now remove all the quality.
The result: you have a movie that got worse reviews than Battlefield Earth, and is the lowest rated movie I've ever seen by the users at Apollo Guide. Made with all unknowns - well, at least they were at the time. Amanda Peet became known between the time this film was made and the time it was released, because it sat in the can for a year or so waiting for a distributor and a rating other than NC-17. The rest of them are likely to remain unknown. Total budget was only three million, but somehow it got a good distrubution schedule and got on 1500 screens before people realized how loathesome it was.

NUDITY REPORT

very brief female nudity from an extra wth no lines during a 3-way with Zeke

no nudity from Amanda Peet

THE PREMISE:

Four guys sit every Sunday in a diner an discuss their weekly escapades. With women, of course. Very frank discussions. Completely amoral. They are scammers, guiys who conquer, then can't wait to head to the diner to broadcast the details.

One week none of them want to discuss their sexual encounters freely. It so happens that they are all "bonding" with a new woman at the same time. About five minutes later they find out that they are all bonding with the same woman.

In fact they are all bonding with Amanda Peet, which is OK, because her mouth is so enormous she has no trouble. She can handle them all and still smoke a Virginia Slim at the same time. In fact, Captain Cousteau once studied this girl and compared her to the Great White shark, and it turned out that Peet had more teeth.

DVD info from Amazon.

  • Widescreen anamorphic version, 1.85:1, and a fullscreen version (4:3)

  • Full-length director commentary. But why?

All right, that much is bull. In fact they never have a three-way. She sees each of them separately. This goes on for eight weeks, during which their friendship is sorely tested, and they all start to wonder whether this might be THE girl for them, and if she is ever going to make some kind of choice among them.

Well, it turns out that the girl was actually just playing all of them for her amusement, and she didn't even like two of them. Sitting with her friends in her own diner, she explains that one had a dick the size of an acorn, and another never got hard. All the gals had a good laugh over it.

Unpleasant, nasty movie with no likeable characters, and which hates everyone. All of which could be forgiven if it was funny, which it isn't.

The Critics Vote

  • General consensus: one and a half stars. Berardinelli 1.5/4, Apollo 37.

  • Rotten Tomatoes summary. 13% positive overall, but a perfect ZERO from the top critics.

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 4.4, Apollo users 18/100 (lowest I've ever seen).
  • With their dollars ... it took in four million on 1561 screens, almost all of it the first week. Had a low budget, however, probably will end up profitable.
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a D.

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