Oh, I don't know about these.

I think there is a lot of ad feminum backlash in here, directed at the person and not at her performance. Rosie O'Donnell is not Dame Edith Evans, but she wasn't all that terrible playing herself, more or less. Ditto Madonna and Whoopi.

In the case of Binoche, it is a case of English Patient backlash. People hate that movie so much they just feel a need to lash out at the nearest symbol, so I think Binoche's votes are therapeutic. I understand completely. The Rose is the same kind of movie - awful weeper that your wife's best friend heard about in her book club, and you ended up sitting through it. Am I right? I didn't hate English Patient or The Rose that much, but I feel that way about other movies.

I can't comment on Cyndi Lauper, the Spice Girls, or Julia Sweeney. I am going to try to see Cyndi Lauper in "Vibes" some day. It sounds like it really could be my kind of movie, the kind you watch while stoned, so you don't miss any of its intrinsic silliness. On the other hand, I think there is a very slim possibility that I will ever see those other two movies, so I will choose to remain in the dark. I suspect that none of you have actually seen that Spice Girl movie and that there is an anti-Spice vote on general principles. I probably should condemn that, but I actually commend it. Sometimes the facts stand in the way of a greater truth.

I was sorta surprised to see Cindy Crawford on the list. Although I don't see Lady Macbeth in her future, I didn't think she was all that hold-your-nose bad in "Fair Game." I also was surprised to see Faye Dunaway get so much support. She was over-the-top in that movie, but Joan Crawford was over the top, way over, and Faye got her down pretty well.

The ones that I think are really bad, more or less in my correct order:

• My worst: Lily Tomlin in "Moment by Moment". Lily is good at what she does. Romantic drama ain't it. Her case wasn't helped by the fact that she had to say the line "oh, Strip" (the name of Travolta's character) about a zillion times. My colleague Lawdog once wrote that Spielberg would vote for Scorcese as best director. Well, Lily is a bright woman, and I'll bet she'd vote for herself in this poll. It is embarrassing to watch.
• Close behind: nemorable bimbo Anna Nichole Smith certainly deserves her place in the top 10.
• Sofia Coppola in "Godfather, Part Whatever." The best example of the evils of nepotism since Caligula got the big job.
• Pia Zadora in "The Lonely Lady". This performance has a surreal quality about it, like Pia really didn't understand how bad the lines were, or how poorly she was delivering them.
• Elizabeth Berkley's performance has a different kind of surreal quality. She has no emotional range at all, and even fewer facial expressions than Antonioo Banderas or Cybil Shepherd. In fact, she makes Banderas and Shepherd seem as animated as Olivier and Vivian Leigh. I used to play a drinking game with the neighbors. I would tape "Moonlighting", choose some freeze-frames, and they would have to guess the emotion Cybil was trying to convey in that scene. (Can't be done. Try it and see.) I think Berkley must be the new queen of the frozen face muscles.
• Ali MacGraw in "Love Story." Ali never got any good, but she made some progress as she got older. Sadly, she had no clue at that stage in her life.
• I don't know if Shelley Long is all that bad. I find her so irritating that I can't watch her long enough to figure out if she can act. I think you're right, though, to place her here.
• Jessica Lange in "King Kong". (She was one vote shy of the list). I really admire Jessica. She is the Pete Rose of acting. With absolutely zero natural ability, she became one of the best actresses of the 20th century. Goes to show that intelligence and hard work still have great value. "King Kong" stands as her "before" picture, allowing us to see how far she came.
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Here's your list: (four or more votes)

1. Rosie O'Donnell, Exit to Eden
2. The Spice Girls, Spice World
3. Anna Nichole Smith, Skyscraper
4. Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls
5. Cindy Crawford, Fair Game
6. Bo Derek, Bolero
7. Sofia Coppola, Godfather, Part 3
8. Lily Tomlin, Moment by Moment
9. Pia Zadora, The Lonely lady
10. Madonna, Who's That Girl
11. Whoopi Goldberg, Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit
12. Julia Sweeney, It's Pat
13. Juliette Binoche, The English Patient
14. Kim Darby, True Grit
15. Ali MacGraw, Love Story
16. Shelley Long, Caveman
17. Geena Davis, Cutthroat Island
18. Cyndi Lauper, Vibes
19. Faye Dunaway, Mommie Dearest
20. Alyssa Milano, Kiss of the Vampire
21. Kristy McNichol, The Pirate Movie
22. Bette Midler, The Rose
23. Raquel Welch, Myra Breckenridge