The Worm Eaters (1977) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski), with reader response

2. Mikels didn't actually do much on this project. It was written by, directed by, and stars a triple-threat guy named Herb Robins. In fact, on the scale of triple-threat talents, Herb is up there with Orson Welles - except for the minor issue that Welles' three talents were actually in the fields of writing, acting, and directing, while Herb's were probably concentrated more in the types of skills that can be learned from schools where the application is on a matchbook cover.

The plot: 

An old German guy can communicate to worms. Greedy land developers threaten to take his property. He exacts Old Testament worm-related revenge on his enemies. 

The End.

There you have it: the Citizen Kane of wormniverous entertainment.

Despite the fact that he had nothing to do with the movie, however, Ted Mikels provides what must be a truly expert feature-length commentary. I say "must be" rather than "is" because I'm not going to watch this again just to hear his incisive comments. I'm willing to give him "the benefit of the doubt", which is something I consider even more important than "partial credit", and which can be used as actual currency in any country in Europe where they say "ai-yi-yi" when they screw up.

But this movie is bad. Sum it all up as follows. Girl in Gold Boots is considered the 29th worst movie of all time by IMDb members, and this movie is far, far worse! This makes Girl in Gold Boots seem like Lawrence of Arabia.

Imagine a Troma Comedy. Now imagine if a bunch of high school kids got the script from that Troma comedy and decided to put it on as a school play. The most amazing thing about this movie is that nearly every character shouts every line - except for Herb Robins himself. He mumbles instead. 

READER RESPONSE

Dear Scoop,

I enjoyed your review of "The Worm Eaters" and thought you might like to know that Herb Robins is actually a quadruple talent, going Orson Welles one better.  It might not mention this on the DVD (and is there anything more ludicrous than the idea of a DVD of "The Worm Eaters?"  What's on the commentary track, the sounds of gagging and retching?), but this film was nominated for an award.  In Harry and Michael Medved's book, "Son of Golden Turkey Awards," it was nominated for "Worst Promotional Gimmick In Hollywood History."  The gimmick, and Robins' talent #4?  Why, worm-eating, of course!  I quote from the book:

"In order to win suitable attention for this epicurean epic, the producer and director traveled along with the film and staged a series of stunts described in the  press as 'too outrageous to top.'  In Kansas City, director-star Herb Robins stood in front of television cameras and hundreds of onlookers, and then proceeded to gobble down four eight-inch-long 'Canadian night crawlers' while producer Ted Mikels got away with only two. Meanwhile, Howard Hall, manager of a local bar, outdid them both by consuming eight of the wriggling critters -- all of which had been specially imported by the Minnesota Worm and Fly Company.  This event proved such a success that the producers later staged a worm-eating contest in Las Vegas and offered free admission to anyone who ate a worm before entering the theater."